Did I Mention I'm an Assassin?
by Caley3324
Summary: Grant falling in love with a normal girl. Ally Carter owns the ideas of the Gallagher Girls series.
1. Chapter 1

1.

Sneaking out of Blackthorne is dangerous. That's why I liked it so much. I loved the rush I got when the security lights came only inches from catching me. I loved the feeling of accomplishment that I got when I finally passed the gates and started the hike. I loved cutting through the woods to get to the small town.

I loved forgetting that I was an assassin-in-training.

Wouldn't you?

Let me answer that for you: yes, you would. There's something oddly terrifying about knowing that you can kill someone with your bare hands easier than most people can walk. It's horrible to have dreams about the people you've killed. It sucks to know what you're going to be hired to do for a permanent job after school; what you're already occasionally being hired for.

I knew what kind of life I had signed up for by attending Blackthorne. My parents had both been spies, but they had abandoned me. My mom had died right before I had been sent away to Blackthorne. My dad never contacted me; he was too busy with his own job. As an assassin.

I hated looking like him, with my tan skin, bronze hair, and blue eyes. I was about 5'11 and all muscle from my training. I may look like a Greek god, but I've never felt like one a day in my life. Sure, all the girls in town swoon over me when I come in, but it never makes me feel good. In fact, I don't even pay attention to those girls. What would they have to offer me?

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a one-night stand kind of guy.

I made my way into the diner that the small town had and sat at a booth, looking out the window that overlooked a dark alley. I liked the darkness. Something about the way it seemed to envelope me comforted me, made me feel alive and strong. Assassins kill in the dark for two reasons: less witnesses and assassins tend to stick to the dark in any case. No one really knows why, although Dr. Steve has a crazy theory that Jonas has been helping him with.

"Can I get you something to drink?" a waitress with thick brunette hair and too much makeup asked. She was giving me a smile that told me she was definitely interested. And if the smile wasn't enough of a clue, she was batting her eyelashes like crazy. I hated when girls did that. Did they not understand that it just made it look like they had something in their eyes?

"Coffee," I requested.

"Anything to eat?" she asked, batting her eyelashes some more.

"No, I'm not hungry," I said as politely as I could. We had a teacher at Blackthorne whose job it was to turn us into "respectable young men". Apparently, assassins needed manners.

"Is there _anything_ I can get you?" she asked, leaning her hip on the table.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "I'm fine, thanks; just the coffee. And if you could bring it in a to-go cup and bring the bill, that'd be great."

"Oh," she said, clearly disappointed. "Okay; I'll bring it right out."

I rolled my eyes when she turned away. She had to be at least twenty-one and I was only seventeen. And she was clearly a slut. I mean, she had been wearing an engagement ring, after all.

She brought my coffee and I muttered my thanks before adding one cream and three sugars. I stirred it and then took a drink, feeling the warmth course through me. I took a few more drinks and let my mind wander. When my cup was almost empty, the waitress came back with the bill and I gave her a five, telling her to keep the change. My dad may not keep in touch with me, but he wired a certain amount of money to my account each week. She re-filled my coffee cup and left.

I had just turned my attention to the window when I saw her. She was no more than five feet tall, with thin blond hair that went to an inch past her shoulders. She had a petite, yet undeniably muscled body type and she wore jeans and a hoodie. She looked to be in a hurry to get home and I didn't blame her; the wind outside was biting cold.

Suddenly, four guys that were clearly drunk came out of the shadows, surrounding the girl before she could process what was going on. One of the guys approached her and she tried to back away, but he grabbed her.

_Not her_ was all I could think as I stood from my table, not even bothering to grab my coffee. I ran into the alley as fast as my feet would take me and I heard the girl cry, "Stop!"

The guys' laughter lurched me forward. "Leave her alone!"

They all turned to look at me, sneers on their ugly faces. The guy that had a hold on the girl's arms –and clearly the leader- said, "And what are you gonna do if we don't, pretty boy?"

My hands clenched themselves into fists and I felt my mind prepare itself for a fight. A fight that I wouldn't lose. "Let her go," I said through gritted teeth.

They laughed again and the leader said, "Jett, Gus, teach him a little respect."

Jett and Gus were knocked out within five seconds. The other guy came at me and I knocked him out, too. The leader lunged forward and I broke his nose before giving him peace by knocking him out. The pervert deserved it.

"Are you okay?" I asked the girl.

She stood, frozen, only a couple of feet away from me. Her eyes, I could now see, were a luminous green. Absolutely beautiful. Wait….did I just seriously think that? Yes, yes I did.

When she spoke, her voice was so soft that I could barely hear it. "Thank you."

"Anytime," I replied, and I meant it.

She gestured to one of the guys that I had just knocked out. "They're always drunk. They've been after me for a while."

I nodded slowly, "Maybe you should get a restraining order."

A smile played at her pale pink lips. "Maybe I should. That was some pretty impressive fighting, by the way. Are you a black belt?"

"Something like that."

She didn't press it. "Well, thanks, again. So much."

I smiled. "You're welcome."

She took a step closer and then hesitated. But why? Then, she said, "How 'bout I buy you some food or something?"

Like a date? _No, stupid. She just wants to thank you._ "That's not necessary."

"I know," she smiled. "But I feel like I know you. No telling what would've happened if you hadn't stepped in." She shuddered. Then she studied me closely. "I don't think I've ever seen you around here."

"I'm visiting," I said. "My name's Grant."

"I'm Katie," she said with a sweet smile. "Come on, I'll get you something to eat. But do you mind if we don't go here?" she gestured to the diner I had just been in. "I'm not too crazy about it."

_Thank you_. "That's fine."

She stepped over the unconscious bodies and I followed her through the streets. She led me into a small café and we sat down in a corner booth. We both ordered soup and coffee and when the waiter (thank God it wasn't a waitress) left, I said, "What are you doing out so late?"

"I could ask you the same question," she said with a smile. "I was at the library."

"So you're a smart girl?"

"Maybe," she said, playing with a packet of sugar.

"Maybe?" I raised an eyebrow.

"What do you think?" she asked, raising an eyebrow of her own as a challenge.

Behind her, I could hear the young couple talking in French and I could pick out every word that they were saying. I could name the license plate numbers of all five cars outside. I could tell you that the waiter was recently divorced.

Katie saw me getting lost in thought. "Grant?"

I looked into her eyes.

She gave an amused smile. "You're not like other guys, are you?"

Did I mention I'm an assassin?


	2. Chapter 2

2.

Why was she the only thing that I could think about? I mean, Interrogation was usually my favorite class, so why wasn't I able to concentrate? Why did I keep thinking about Katie? It's not like anything had happened.

We'd eaten and talked. She'd told me about her family. Her dad was the town doctor and her mother was a kindergarten teacher. She had two younger sisters, Anna and Bailey. She had a golden retriever named Cisco. She was a power tumbler –which meant that she could do some seriously amazing flips- so basically, she was a cheerleader on steroids (without the steroids, of course). She trained in a bigger city not too far from her small little town.

I'd told her that my mom had died and that my dad traveled a lot. I told her that I didn't have any siblings and that I had never really seen the appeal for pets, although I was sure that hers was great. I told her that I was smart, too (after all, I _did_ have a genius-level IQ) and that I went to school not too far away, but I didn't tell her where. I couldn't tell her that I went to a school for assassins.

After we'd eaten, I had offered to walk her home and she had accepted, probably because what had happened only an hour prior still freaked her out. Her house was a good ten-minute walk away and I actually enjoyed walking with her. She seemed to sense that I wasn't all that talkative, so she talked.

When we reached her house, she told me thanks again and goodbye, along with a hope to see me again. I repeated the words and I knew that I meant them, but I also knew that I shouldn't. Getting mixed with civilians wasn't safe for an assassin. She could get caught in crossfire or get suspicious or someone could go after her to get to me. No, bad idea.

Or was it? Could I keep two separate lives? One as an assassin and one as a normal guy? _No_, I answered myself. I could pretend to be one of my seven aliases in the blink of an eye, but I couldn't pretend to be normal. I could speak seventeen languages and knew how to kill someone with any common household item. I could name all of the elements on the periodic table of elements and how to use three of those elements to make a mini bomb. I could fight off five guys at once and I knew all kinds of different interrogation techniques (none of which, may I add, are pleasant _at all_).

I could do a lot of things, but playing normal wasn't one of them. Besides, what were the chances that I'd see Katie again? My brain automatically started calculating. _Since you know where she lives…_

_Stop!_ I commanded myself. I don't want any actual numbers. I just wanted reassurance that I wasn't crazy. That trying anything at all to get involved with Katie would be a bad idea. And it would; I knew that. But I also knew that she was something special.

Something about her just…

_Stop!_

I took a deep breath and tried to focus on what Mr. Carter was talking about. Something about lights. Zach shot me a look when he heard my intake of breath but I pretended not to see it. I didn't need him getting curious and asking questions. I didn't want to have to explain to anyone about how I was feeling.

"Grant, would you demonstrate the technique that I just explained?"

_Crap_. "Umm…."

Zach saved me, which at first relieved me but then made me sort of angry. Now I would have to tell him why I was so distracted, especially in my favorite class. "Mr. Carter, I still don't understand step three."

Mr. Carter explained again and I paid attention this time. After class, I walked out into the hall as fast as I could, but Zach wasn't going to let me off that easily. "What's up, man?"

I shook my head. "Nothing?"

He snorted. "Whatever. Spill."

I was silent until we got to our room, and then Zach gave me a look and I began to talk, giving a recount about what had happened the previous night. When I finished, Zach was smirking. "You like her."

It wasn't a question.

"I can't be involved with her, Zach," I said. "She's a civilian. A normal girl."

"So?"

"Zach."

He rolled his eyes. "The warnings and rules are totally overrated, man. Come on. From what you said, she's really pretty. And since when have you ever noticed a girl?"

That was a good point. I didn't normally notice girls. But….. "This one was in trouble. I was just being nice."

"Maybe at first," Zach said as he flopped onto his bed. "But then you got _hooked_."

"I was only with her for an hour and a half," I protested.

Zach smirked at me. "And you loved every single second of it."

As soon as he said it, I knew it was true. I had loved being with Katie, for whatever reason. She was so different from any other girls I'd ever talked to. She was intelligent and kind and pretty…

_Stop._

"Maybe I did," I said, not wanting to completely give in to Zach. "But it doesn't matter. It's over now."

Zach's grin was as mischievous as ever. "Is it?"

I raised an eyebrow and he explained. "You can always sneak out again. You know where she lives –since you walked her home- so you can make sure that you run into her again."

"Why would I do that?" I asked, pretending that it was a ridiculous idea even though I really, really wanted to.

Zach rolled his eyes. "Dude, you want to."

Darn him for being able to see right through me. Was it really that obvious? "So?"

"So," Zach said, sitting up. "You're sneaking out again. _Tonight_."

"I can't like her Zach," I tried to rationalize.

"Why?"

Did I mention I'm an assassin?


	3. Chapter 3

3.

_This is so stupid._

I walked through the town as the sun was setting and I had never felt more stupid or out of place in my whole life.

_I shouldn't be here._

_ Maybe she doesn't want to see me again._

"Grant?"

_Crap_. I took a deep breath and turned around, finding Katie standing a few feet behind me. She held a coffee cup in her hand and she wore a green blouse. She wore jeans and brown boots, and her hair was straight; she had light makeup on, not too much. I forced a smile, trying to act normal. After all, assassins had to keep their cool. "Hey, Katie," I said, faking surprise as if I hadn't tailed her to the coffee shop and then conveniently waited nearby.

As if she hadn't been on his mind ever since they met.

As if he hadn't wanted to see her again.

"Grant!" she said with a wide smile. "I thought it was you. How are you?"

"I'm…" she came closer and his heart began pounding. "Good; I'm good. How are you?"

She nodded slowly, still smiling. "I'm great. Visiting town again?"

"Well, ya know, I get bored."

Lie. Before I met Katie, I had never been bored at Blackthorne. There was always something to do. Work out. Do homework. Work on extra credit assignments. Hang out with friends.

I had good friends in Seth and Zach. They were both covering for me at dinner, in case anyone asked. They were supposed to say that I'd gone for a run) technically not a lie, I had run to get here).

"And how are you planning to alleviate that boredom?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Exploring this charming little town."

She gave me a studious look. "Are you _ever_ in school?"

"Sometimes."

She gave a small laugh and a knowing look. "You know, sneaking out is wrong."

"Depends on your point of view."

"I suppose. Well, do you want me to be your tour guide? I've lived here all my life, after all. I know the town quite well."

I exhaled a laugh. "That'd be great."

"Come on."

I followed her through the town and she pointed out the best place to eat soup, the bowling alley, and the small high school. She ran into a couple of her friends, but she didn't introduce me, which could be considered rude, but I was grateful for that. She seemed to read my mind. "Sorry; did you want me to introduce you?"

I shook my head, "It's fine."

She smiled. "I figured you wouldn't want to be introduced."

How did she know? How could she do that? Assassins are supposed to be hard to read, mysterious. I had always been good at that, mainly because I was pretty antisocial. I could hang out with people, but I rarely contributed anything to the conversation. I never saw the point. What if I got close to someone and they got hurt? Or what if they ended up being one of my targets? What if I had to hurt them?

The sun sank lower and lower and the streetlamps came on, casting an eerie glow. We were on a dirt road and as a rabbit ran out of the underbrush, Katie shrieked and jumped closer to me, grabbing my arm. Then she blushed. "Sorry; it was just a rabbit. Sorry." She blushed even more and let go of my arm.

We continued walking and my arm felt warm where she'd grabbed me. Sparks, maybe? No, not exactly sparks. More like…..the feeling that I wouldn't mind getting to know her better. She was walking slightly farther away from me than she had before, the blush still on her face.

I wanted her closer to me, but how was I supposed to ask her for that? _Hey, could you walk a little closer to me, please? Maybe grab my arm again?_ Yeah, no way in hell was I going to do that. I needed to be like an assassin (without the killing, of course), calm, cool and collected.

But I wasn't calm, cool, or collected. My heart was pounding and I was trying to figure out a way to get closer to her without scaring her away. She shivered and I almost grinned at the perfect opportunity. I took off my jacket and stepped closer to her, placing it on her shoulders.

She blushed, but slipped her arms in the sleeves. "Thank you."

I caught a whiff of her perfume and tried to memorize the scent. It was almost like…vanilla, maybe? It wasn't too strong, but it was still noticeable. It was delicious. We continued walking and she talked a little more, now. She told me about her tumbling coaches and some of the kids that she tumbled with. She told me about her little sister, Anna, finally getting over her fear of the dark.

_How could anyone fear the dark?_ I wondered. The dark was so wonderful and calming. At least, to me. But I'm an assassin, not a normal person, so maybe being afraid of the dark is normal. I wouldn't know.

There were no streetlamps on the long dirt road and it was getting too dark to really see anything. Even Katie. "Grant?" she asked, her voice taking on a slightly panicked tone. I was about to reply, but then I felt her hand on my arm and it slid down until her hand was in mine. Her hand was warm and delicate, completely engulfed by mine.

"Sorry," she whispered, and I could almost see her blush as she began to pull her hand away.

I held on tight. "It's okay."

She didn't argue. We finally made it onto a street with some light, but Katie didn't let go of my hand. We reached her house and I felt an ache, knowing that I would have to say goodbye. She gave me a smile and said, "Hope you enjoyed the tour."

I smiled back. "Definitely. Any chance I can get another one soon?"

She exhaled a laugh. "Of course. How 'bout Tuesday night?"

Three days seemed like such a long time. "That sounds great."

She began to take off the jacket and I helped her out of it, like we'd learned to in "manners class".

"Thanks," she said, blushing again. "You're really sweet."

Oh, did I mention I'm an assassin?


	4. Chapter 4

4.

"Katie."

She looked up from the bench and smiled at me. "Hey, Grant." She looked stunning in jeans, a gray blouse, and black shoes. Her hair was curled and she wore light makeup. She carried a black purse on her shoulder and I noticed a silver band on her left ring finger. I thought back quickly and realized that she'd been wearing it each time I'd seen her.

She followed my gaze and smiled. "It's a purity ring."

For some reason, that made me smile. "You're a Christian?" How would she feel if she knew that I'd already killed a total of fourteen people?

She shook her head. "No, I'm not a Christian. I mean, I believe in God, but I don't go to church or anything. I just want to wait for the right person before I have sex and this ring scares a lot of the bad ones away."

I smiled, appreciating and admiring her total honesty. I knew that honesty was important in any kind of relationship, but I just couldn't tell her the truth. _I'm an assassin. I'm deadly. I've killed people. I train to kill people. I'm good at killing people. Part of me likes killing people. The other part hates me for it._

"You okay?" she asked.

I regained my composure. "Yeah, just thinking."

"Don't hurt yourself," she teased and I laughed.

"So," she said. "If you don't mind, I want to get something to eat first."

I shrugged. "That's fine."

She smiled. "So, fast food or sit down?"

I shrugged. "Whichever you prefer."

Her smile was appreciative. "Thanks. I actually want some Caesar salad from Ray's. Theirs is the best."

"Really?" I asked as we began to walk.

She nodded. "I've had a lot of different Caesar salads from all over –like, whenever I go to a power tumbling competition – but Ray's has always been and will always be, the best."

"Wow," I said. "I guess I should try some, too."

She nodded. "Definitely. It would almost be a crime to go to Ray's without trying Caesar salad."

She had no idea that I'd done far worse things than not getting a Caesar salad. We sat in a booth and the waitress (who was thankfully _way_ too old to flirt with me) came to our table, smiling. "Good to see you, Katie."

"Hi, Glenda," Katie replied with a bright smile.

"Caesar salad and a Mtn Dew?" Glenda asked with a knowing smile.

Katie laughed. "Ya got me."

Glenda looked at me and asked, "For you, handsome?"

"I'll have the same."

She nodded and winked at Katie –which made Katie blush- before going to get our drinks. "You must come here a lot," I commented.

She nodded. "All the time. It's my favorite place to eat in this town."

"What's your favorite place to eat that's _not_ in this town?" I asked.

"Olive Garden," she answered without missing a beat. "What about you?"

"I'm a fan of the Cheesecake Factory."

She smiled. "Me too."

"And I like Macaroni Grill," I threw in.

She laughed and nodded. "Totally.'

Glenda came back with our drinks and told us that our salads would be ready in a moment.

"Favorite color?" I asked.

"Blue. You?"

"Black. Favorite movie?"

"_Gladiator_."

"_The Bourne Ultimatum_," I said. "Favorite type of music?"

"Pop."

"Rock."

The game continued, even as we were eating our salads. I memorized every word she said, thinking that I might someday need the information and, well, spies have good memories in any case. We finished our salads, still playing the game, and Glenda came to clear our plates.

"Any dessert?" she asked.

"A piece of the apple pie," Katie said. "Two forks."

When Glenda left, Katie said, "Ray's apple pie is really good."

I smiled. "It better be if you're gonna make me eat it."

She laughed and asked, "Heads or tails?"

I gave her a confused look, because she hadn't flipped a quarter and she didn't hold one in her hand. "What?"

She shook her head as if I were impossible. "When someone flips a coin and tells you to call heads or tails, do you call heads or tails?"

"Um…heads, I guess."

Glenda came back with the apple pie and gave us each a fork. She tore the bill out of her little black book and set it on the table. "Enjoy, kids."

_Kid? I could kill you with this fork._ But, of course, I didn't want to kill her; she was nice. I just didn't like to be called a kid. Katie reached for the bill, but I beat her to it. "Hey!" she protested.

I smirked at her. "I got this one. You paid for soup last time, remember?"

"I was thanking you, then," she argued.

"And now _I'm_ thanking _you_."

"For what?" she challenged.

"A wonderful night."

Katie looked down at the pie, but I could still see her blush. I felt myself blushing, too. Wait…blushing? I didn't blush! I'm Mr. Calm, cool, and ALWAYS collected! But, no, I was definitely blushing.

We finished our pie and Katie didn't protest as I paid the bill. We walked for a few minutes in silence and then I took Katie's hand. She blushed slightly and looked at our joined hands. _Stupid, maybe she didn't want you to hold her hand._ "Sorry," I said as I began to let go.

She held on. "It's okay." Her smile to me was warm and made butterflies flutter in my stomach.

We walked until Katie pulled me into the park. We walked on the trails and when Katie saw a firefly, she smiled and told me a story that her dad had made up for her when she was little about a firefly that saved the world.

"I was so mad at him when I learned that fireflies can't change the world," Katie remembered with a smile.

I liked when she smiled. It seemed to light up the immediate area. "Who says they can't?" I said.

She stopped walking and faced me, my right hand and her left hand still intertwined. Her expression was curious. "What do you mean by that?"

"Lots of seemingly small things can change the world. That is, a personal world."

She looked puzzled. "I'm not sure I follow you."

Great, now I was confusing her. "It's just…things can happen in your life that completely change your own world."

Now she understood. "Oh. Like what?"

In answer, I leaned in and kissed her.

Did I mention I'm an assassin that's falling for a completely amazing girl?


	5. Chapter 5

5.

"You'll be fine, dude."

"No I won't!" I said, panicking. "Should I wear a tie? Would it matter if I wore a tie? What color?" I began rummaging in my drawers for a tie.

"Calm down," Zach said from the bed, where he was assembling and disassembling a gun.

"I am calm," I said. "I can't find a tie!"

"Dude, you are _far_ from calm. Just forget the tie! It'll be fine. It's not even a big deal," he said.

"Wrong," I argued. "It's a _huge_ deal. She wants me to meet her parents, Zach. I'm having dinner with them. _Tonight_."

He smirked at me. "This girl's really getting' to you, huh?"

"Just like Cammie got to you," I said. "But you were lucky; you met her mom before you even got too involved with her."

He shrugged. "Just be charming Grant and you'll be okay."

"Charming Grant?"

He rolled his eyes. "Dude, forget the tie. Your shirt's dressy enough."

I looked down at my dark button-up shirt. "Should I change out of these jeans?" I asked. "They don't have holes, but…"

"Dude, stop."

"What about my hair? Do I need to smooth it down or should I just let it be messy?"

"Dude, seriously!" Zach half-shouted. "You're going to be fine." He cursed in Farsi. "Her dad's a doctor, for crying out loud and her mom teaches school. They should be nice enough. Neither of them have a criminal record." As soon as Katie had invited me to dinner with her parents, Zach and I had looked them up, trying to find out as much as we possibly could.

"This is the most stressful thing I've ever done." I said as I looked in the mirror, trying to decide if I should just leave my hair alone or smooth it down.

"Even over killing someone the first time?" Zach asked softly from the bed. The question was rhetorical. He was just reminding me that worse things could always –and would- happen.

I finally decided to leave my hair alone. "Thanks for covering for me," I said.

Zach shrugged. "You do it for me."

"True," I smiled.

Suddenly, Jonas burst into the room. "I got it. Her parents shouldn't be too curious about your dad, but just in case, I made it look like he's a flight attendant that travels a lot. They'll be able to find him if they do a people search. It'll be enough to satisfy their curiosity."

Jonas was brilliant; maybe the most brilliant person I'd ever met. Sure, he kind of sucked at martial arts and shooting guns, but he was a genius with the computer stuff. He could remember everything he read and he could debate with the best of them. And he was really helpful for covers.

"Thanks, Jonas."

He nodded. "No problem. Basic info: I kept his name the same, and he has an apartment in New York that he stays at when he's not on a plane."

"What about me?" I asked. "What am I doing here?"

He grinned. "I set up an untraceable website for Blackthorne. You, my friend, go to a _very_ elite private school."

"That's actually true," said Zach, grinning. "So, you ready, bro?"

I inhaled deeply. "Yeah, I think I am."

Two and a half hours later, I was laughing at a story that Katie's dad was telling. Her father was tall and broad shouldered, with kind brown eyes and gray hair and a slightly wrinkled face. Her mom was only a few inches taller than Katie, with the same blond hair and bright green eyes. She was the one that had welcomed me into the house and made me feel instantly at home.

_So this is what it's like to have a family._

Her sisters were really nice, too. They spoke often, joining into the conversation and then backing out of it in no more than twenty seconds. They looked very similar to Katie, too, especially in the eyes. Bailey –who was ten- could have been Katie's clone. Anna –who was five- looked a little more like her father.

Her mother made a delicious dinner of lasagna, green beans, and garlic bread. I had never had a home-cooked meal more delicious. The food at Blackthorne was pretty good, but it couldn't hold a candle to Mrs. Brown's food.

They asked a little about me and were very impressed when I told them about Blackthorne. I had a feeling that they were going to look it up later –not because they didn't believe me, but just out of curiosity- and I was grateful that Jonas had thought to make that website.

After dinner, I offered to help with the dishes, but her mother and father said that they could handle it. Katie led me up to her room and we sat on her bed and talked, occasionally sharing a short kiss. When Katie had a boy in her room, she had to keep the door open, but that was fine with me. It was refreshing to see parents that actually cared for their kids.

"I love your family," I told her.

She smiled and picked a hair off of her navy shirt. "I'm pretty fond of 'em."

_I wish I had a family. I wish I was lucky. I wish that my mom had never died. I wish my dad was around. I wish my dad cared. I wish I wasn't an assassin._

Idle wished.

"Grant?"

I looked into her eyes and smiled. "Sorry, lost in thought."

She smiled. "I could tell."

I kissed her good night twenty minutes later and insisted that she didn't need to walk me down. As I headed for the door, Mrs. Brown came over to give me a one-armed hug and Mr. Brown shook my head. "Come by any time," he said.

"Thank you, sir."

Mrs. Brown smiled at me. "We mean it. You can drop by any time you feel like it. You're a nice young man."

I forced a smile as I told them good bye.

_You're a nice young man._

Did I mention I'm an assassin?


	6. Chapter 6

6.

"We've had several hits on the Blackthorne website," Jonas said, typing something on his laptop. "I traced one of those back to your girlfriend's house."

"Really?" I asked, looking up from my book.

Jonas nodded. "They looked at the curriculum page, I guess just to see how smart you really have to be to get into Blackthorne."

"Should they be impressed?" Zach asked.

"_Very_," Jonas said with a smile. "We don't take any high school classes once we reach ninth grade. It's all college classes. We have nine classes a day. Our alumni get full rides to Ivy League schools; it's all there."

"Nice," I complimented.

"They also looked at the student list," Jonas said. "I guess just to make sure you were on there. They looked at the faculty list, too. Oh, by the way, all of our faculty have PhDs. Because how can you instruct geniuses when you're not a genius yourself?"

Zach and I laughed and congratulated him once again. "So, Katie's parents should be thoroughly convinced?" I asked.

He nodded. "Oh, and it looks like they looked up your father, too."

Zach whistled. "Man, they really don't trust you."

"I think they're just covering all their bases," Jonas said. "I mean, he's dating their daughter. They wanna know something about him."

"So what's my class schedule?" I asked. "Do I need to look over the list and…?"

"No need," Jonas said, holding out a sheet of paper. "I already printed a schedule out for you. That had the times, course description, and name of teacher."

"You need a life," Zach said.

"Leave him alone," I said as I looked over my schedule. "Excellent. Thanks, Jonas."

"Sure," he shrugged.

I sighed as I sank back onto my bed, bored. I could hear the smirk in Zach's voice. "You're going through Katie withdraw."

Katie was in Texas at a power tumbling competition. I hadn't seen her in five days, and I was anxious for her to get back. "Shut up," I mumbled, trying to focus on my book.

"Come work out with me," Zach said.

That should work better as a distraction, so I set my book aside and went to change into workout clothes. "Wanna come, Jonas?"

"No, thanks. I'm gonna work with Dr. Steve on an extra credit assignment he's given me."

I shrugged and Zach and I went to go work up a sweat.

Katie got home two days later and we went out to Ray's to celebrate. She had won first place in the competition by a long shot. She described the competition to me in detail, but none of it made any sense and I just had to go along with it, nodding and smiling.

She laughed as she took a bite of her Caesar salad. "I know that it all sounds like Greek to you; sorry."

Little did she know, if she'd been speaking Greek, I would have actually been able to understand her. I just smiled, "It's okay. If this is important to you, I want to hear about it."

She leaned over to kiss my cheek. "Thanks."

"Of course."

After Ray's, we went to the movies. I'd only been to a movie theater a few times before –I preferred to rent movies, if I was going to watch one at all- and I was pleased that I actually enjoyed it. Katie and I shared a small popcorn –because we had just gotten through eating, after all- and the movie was a romantic comedy that actually wasn't half bad.

She didn't object in any way when I put my arm around her, and I had no objection when she rested her head on my shoulder. Her hair smelled amazing, and I wished she would stay like that all night. The movie ended and I walked her home, where she invited me in. Her curfew for boys in the house was nine, and that meant that we had thirty minutes.

Thirty blissful minutes.

We made out because her whole family was downstairs watching a movie, and we would have heard if one of them came up the wooden stairs. Katie smiled when I pulled away from her. "You know, I had a great time tonight."

"It was okay," I teased, faking seriousness.

She hit me playfully. "Shut up."

"Can I kiss you instead?" I asked. "That'll shut me up."

She exhaled a small laugh and pulled me towards her. We kissed, deeply and passionately, and when we broke for air, she said, "Let's try again. You know, I had a great time tonight."

I smiled. "So, if I repeat my earlier line, will that lead to me getting to kiss you again?"

"No," she smirked.

I sighed, but then I was serious. "I had a great time tonight, too."

"Good answer," she whispered before kissing me again. We broke away and I looked at my watch 8:56. I showed her the time and she sighed. "Already?"

I smiled. "Already."

"Will I see you tomorrow?"

"What time and where?" I asked.

She thought for a moment. "Ray's. At six."

"Don't you ever get tired of Caesar salad?" I asked, but I already knew the answer.

"No."

I chuckled softly. "Okay. Tomorrow. Ray's. Six. Got it."

She smiled and kissed me one last time. "Good night."

"Good night."

I walked downstairs and told her family goodbye before leaving and heading back for Blackthorne. It wasn't really a long walk, and I liked it because it gave me time to think, alone in the dark with the smell of the woods surrounding me.

I thought about Katie and how she made me feel. I thought about her kisses and her touch, her humor and her smile. I thought about how scared I was that I was getting so close to her.

Did I mention I'm an assassin that might be in love?


	7. Chapter 7

7.

"Grant," Katie giggled. "Cut it out."

I ignored her and kissed her neck again. She smelled so good, I just couldn't stay away. She sighed. "Grant, come on, seriously." She didn't sound too serious, though, so I figured it was clear to kiss her neck again.

"Grant," she said softly. "I'm gonna fail this test tomorrow and it'll be all your fault!"

I grinned. "Fine. Guilty as charged. Can we make out now?"

She gave me a look and I sighed. "Fine, fine, sorry. But you've been reading that biology book for the past _hour_."

She smirked. "Are you jealous of my biology book?"

"Maybe I should be."

She rolled her eyes. "Can you be patient for another hour?"

"No."

She exhaled a laugh. "I can't afford to fail a class."

"You're making all A's," I pointed out. "And you have a ninety-seven in biology. No way will a bad test grade make you fail. And besides," I kissed her neck again. "You've already studied."

She sighed, "I need to study more. I need to be totally prepared. This is stressing me out."

I reached up and began to rub her shoulders. "Yeah, this is stressing you out. You're so tense."

"Any chance you could do that forever?" she mumbled happily.

I smirked. "You like that?"

"A lot," she said with a sigh. "I hate being stressed over biology."

"Then take a break," I suggested.

"Wish I could," she said.

"You can," I said, reaching around her as I pressed my lips to her neck. "Just…" I closed her textbook. "Close the book."

She smiled longingly. "I need to study."

"I think you'll be okay."

She sighed. "Okay, how 'bout I make you a deal?"

"What kind of deal?" I asked curiously.

She reached out and played with my bronze hair. "I'll be yours –totally yours- for….fifteen minutes, but then you have to let me study and quit _distracting me_."

I smirked. "I'm distracting you?"

She rolled her eyes, "Duh. Deal?"

I shook my head. "Thirty minutes."

"Fifteen."

"Twenty-five?"

"Twenty."

"Deal," I smiled.

"Your time starts now."

I pulled her to me, pressing my mouth to hers. I pulled her onto my lap and she sighed into the kiss, making me smile. I laid her on the bed and supported myself over her easily, still kissing her. I was grateful that her parents were having an anniversary dinner and were out of the house. Katie had made a deal with her younger sisters that they could have popsicles (which they weren't usually allowed to have before bed) if she could close her bedroom door while I was over. They had eagerly agreed and run off to get their popsicles.

"Time's up," she said, pushing on my chest. She was breathing heavily, as was I. I looked at her digital clock. "Nope. Still have thirty seconds."

She smiled and let me kiss her again. Twenty-five seconds later, she pushed on my chest again. "Time."

I decided to let her have it. "Fine."

She laughed. "Don't pout."

"I'm not," I said, though I clearly was.

She rolled her eyes. "Of course not, pretty boy."

I lay back on her bed and closed my eyes while she went back to her desk to study. True to my word, I wasn't a distraction. I lay silently on the bed, eyes closed. I heard her textbook close after five minutes and then felt her come to the bed. She kissed me. "I think I'm done studying."

"Good," I told her with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm gonna put a movie in."

"Sounds good."

She walked over to her small entertainment system and tried to decide on a DVD. She stared carefully at all of the titles and I heard her mutter, "I have _no_ clue." She finally picked one out and put the DVD in. After she had pressed play, she came and laid beside me on the bed.

I pulled the covers up around us and wrapped my arms around her, letting her rest her head on my chest. "The Bourne Ultimatum, huh?"

She nodded. "I love Jason Bourne. These movies are amazing."

"Not bad," I agreed. I had only seen the whole trilogy a couple of times through, but as a spy, I remembered everything that happened in them. Jason Bourne was a lot like me (well, I didn't have amnesia). He was a killer like me, even if he couldn't remember.

I thought about how many times I had wished that I could forget everything. I wouldn't want answers. I wouldn't want to have to remember how many people I had killed. I wanted to escape it all sometimes, and that wish had increased since I had met Katie. I had gotten so much closer to her, despite the warning flags raised in my head. I was attached.

Was I in love? I wasn't totally sure yet. I knew that I cared for her more than anything else in the world and I'd do anything in the world for her. I loved being around her and I liked listening to her tell me about her day. I loved the look she got on her face when she described tumbling and I loved sitting around a table eating with her family.

No one at Blackthorne was suspicious yet, which meant I was doing a good job covering. And Zach, Seth, and Jonas were doing an amazing job helping me. Especially Zach. He listened when I talked and he got it; after all, he had Cammie and knew what I was feeling.

"That would suck," Katie suddenly said, snapping me out of my trance.

"What would?" I asked.

"To have to kill people for your job."

My stomach dropped.

"I mean, he thinks he's doing the right thing –and maybe he is, for_ him_- but still…..that has to be horrible, don't ya think?"

"Yeah."

Did I mention I'm an assassin?


	8. Chapter 8

8.

"Grant!" she shrieked as I picked her up and spun her in a circle. I grinned as I set her back on her feet, my arms still around her waist. "What?" I asked innocently.

She laughed. "Nothing."

I kissed her hair. "Nothing?"

"Nothing," she repeated, turning her head to give me a quick kiss. The snow fell all around us, and yet we were both warm enough. I wore black sweatpants, a black hoodie over a T-shirt, and tennis shoes. Katie wore black wind suit pants, a purple Aeropostale hoodie, and tennis shoes. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun and she wore only a faint touch of silver eyeshadow on her perfect, flawless face.

I took her hand again and chafed it between two of mine. "You're cold. Maybe we should get inside somewhere."

I knew where she had suggested even before she said it. "Ray's."

I smiled. "Wow, how did I know?"

She giggled and pulled me along. "Come on."

We went into Ray's and sat down in our usual booth. Glenda brought us our usual, and I went ahead and paid, even for the apple pie that we were going to get after Caesar salad. Katie began to eat immediately, famished as she always was. She was only 4'11, and she couldn't tip the scale at ninety dripping wet. Her metabolism was fast, as in speed-of-light fast. She burned off the calories as fast as she could take them in.

I watched her, a faint smile on my face. She was the best thing that had ever happened in my life, and I had given up on trying to separate myself from her a long time ago. For better or worse, she was a part of my life. I loved spending time with her.

I made a mental note to thank Jonas again later. He had lately been sending fake letters to Dr. Steve, saying that I had jobs in all kinds of different places. I could be gone four, five days at a time. On those days, I stayed in the small motel in town. This particular time, my job was supposed to take me a week, so I was ecstatic. The more time with Katie I got, the happier I was.

"Thinking again?" Katie asked, giving me a knowing smile. She was used to me spacing out.

"A little," I admitted.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Everything."

"Everything," she said slowly. "Global warming, puppies, snow, biology, physics, Mars, meteors…wow…..that's a lot to think about. And that's not even two percent of _everything_."

I pretended to be annoyed. "You know, you don't have to be such a smart alleck."

She grinned. "Sure I do. It's part of who I am."

I rolled my eyes and took a bite of my salad. "Sure."

"Can I ask you something?" she asked.

I chewed carefully and swallowed, not even tasting it as it slid down my throat. "Sure." _I told her that she could ask, not that I'd answer honestly_. Still, I would feel horrible if I had to lie to her. I'd kept things from her and twisted around things to make them true, but I had never outright lied to her.

She took another bite of her salad and swallowed. It was the longest ten seconds of my life. "Promise you won't tell anybody?" she teased. She knew very well that I wouldn't tell anyone. "I suppose," I sighed dramatically.

She laughed and then her expression turned serious. "Do you think that people truly have free will?"

Free will? "What do you mean?"

"Do you think that we ever really make our own choices, or are they always going to be influenced by someone or something?"

I thought about that for a few moments. "You know, I'm not really sure. I think that influences are _part_ of our decision."

She nodded slowly. "That makes sense."

"Good," I said. "I thought I was going crazy."

Glenda took our empty plates away and came back with a piece of apple pie. "Your turn to choose," Katie said. It had become a ritual to have someone to choose which part of the pie they wanted, the part with the edge or the part without the big lump of crust.

"Which do you want?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes. "For once, just pick without trying to be sweet."

I laughed and took a bite from the crust. She smiled and dug her own fork in. We ate and talked about little things, like her upcoming tumbling competition in Las Vegas. "It should be a lot of fun," she said. "I'll get to learn how to play poker and dance for random guys."

I gave her a look and she smiled and touched my hand. "I'm kidding."

I smiled. "Come on, let's go."

I took her hand and led her outside, towards the park, where the towering trees in one section would shield us from most of the snow. Katie loved walking in the snow, but I was afraid that she was going to catch a cold. That's how protective I was.

"It's so beautiful," she commented as she looked around. "Snow makes everything more beautiful."

I could only nod in agreement. We walked some more and then I couldn't take it anymore. I stopped and she faced me, looking at me questioningly. I took a deep breath and said, "I've been thinking a lot recently. About us."

She waited patiently for me to continue.

"I didn't want to get close to you," I said. "But I did. And I'm really glad I did."

She smiled. "I'm glad, too."

I took a deep breath, thinking about the last four months with Katie.

Perfect months.

"I love you, Katie."

They were out there in the open; the words that an assassin should never say.

She stepped closer to me and whispered, "I love you, too."

Did I mention I'm an assassin in love?


	9. Chapter 9

9.

Sometimes I felt so normal. Like when Katie took me out late at night to catch fireflies or when I sat around the table eating with her family. When Katie and I had a snowball fight with her sisters or when we went to the movies. When I was kissing Katie or when she was wrapped up in my arms.

And then reality would come back and hit me harder than before. I got real missions in addition to the fake ones Jonas set up. I had to kill people and live with it. I got paid lots of money, but I always felt like it wasn't enough. Nothing would ever be enough.

January 25 started as a normal day. Katie and I decided to go for a walk and I kept thinking how beautiful she looked. Her hair was straightened and her makeup was perfect. She wore a black blouse, jeans, and flats, along with the diamond necklace I'd gotten her for Christmas.

We held hands and laughed as we talked. There wasn't much snow, but a lot of places were slick with ice. Katie hit one of those places and her feet went flying out from under her. It happened so fast that I had no time to react. One second she was fine and the next millisecond she was on the ground, her arm clearly broken. The bone was sticking through the skin and blood was slowly beginning to pool on the ground. She was trying not to scream, but she couldn't help but make sounds of pain.

"Oh my God, Katie," I said as I took off my jacket and wrapped it around her, careful to avoid her arm. I picked her up and headed for her dad's clinic as fast as I dared on the slippery ground. Katie's sounds of pain stopped when she blacked out.

And I was scared. I'd been through an interrogation by terrorists and a bombing and I hadn't been scared. But Katie being hurt scared me beyond my wildest imagination. I carried her into the clinic and a nurse saw all of the blood and bone and waved us right through. Katie's father came in and looked at her arm in horror.

I stayed nearby and he didn't object, maybe because he didn't see me or maybe because he didn't care that I was in there. Either way, I was glad that he hadn't thrown me out. I was upset when he took Katie into emergency surgery, however, because I couldn't be in the room. I paced the waiting room for hours and explained the situation to Katie's mom when she came in.

Mrs. Brown begged me to take Anna and Bailey home and watch over them while she waited at the clinic. I didn't want to, but the tears in her eyes told me that she absolutely needed to be there and I knew that Anna and Bailey didn't need to be going through that. So, I agreed and walked them home, holding both of their hands so that they wouldn't slip on the ice that was still there.

At the Browns' house, Bailey made macaroni and cheese and we all ate in silence in the living room, with the TV playing a show that none of us were watching. After eating, Bailey went to her room and Anna curled up against me, falling asleep within minutes. I carried her up to her room and put her in bed, shutting the door behind me when I left.

I sat on the couch, my body completely shutting down. I couldn't stop worrying about Katie even for a second. Even when I heard a crash and a scream, Katie was still in the back of my mind as I flew up the stairs and into the bathroom. Bailey was clutching her hand and I saw glass shards and drops of blood on the floor.

"Bailey?"

She was sobbing, her knees drawn up to her chest. "I'm sorry," she wailed.

"Come on," I said as I knelt beside her. "Let's get that hand cleaned up."

I bandaged her hand and sent her to bed, and then I cleaned up the glass and took the mirror down from over the sink. It was broken anyways. Finally, Katie's mom came back, her eyes red. She filled me in on Katie's condition. Her father had managed to set the bone back into place and had put a strong cast on it. She would be out of tumbling –and even school- for a long time, but she would be okay and she would have full use of her arm. "She's begging to see you," Katie's mom said. "That's all she'll say."

I saw the pain in her eyes. It hurt her that someone was higher up on Katie's list than her. I gave her a small smile, "I'll go see her, then."

Her mother nodded and forced a smile, heading upstairs.

I went into Katie's room at the hospital and she looked up at me, relief flooding her face. "Hey."

"Hey," I said softly, moving farther into the room.

"Sorry I ruined our walk," she said, trying to lighten me up.

I shook my head. "It's not your fault. How are you feeling?" Her arm was in a huge cast and she looked like she'd been through hell. She _had_ been through hell. It was a stupid question.

"I'm on some heavy painkillers," she said. "It doesn't hurt right now."

Something changed on her face and I moved closer, speaking with concern. "Katie?"

"I'm scared," she whispered. She was so vulnerable….

I moved to her bedside and gripped her hand. "I know, Katie. I know."

"Don't leave me," she pleaded softly.

"I'm right here," I promised.

She fell asleep still gripping my hand.


	10. Chapter 10

10.

Did I mention I'm an assassin?

I speak seventeen languages. They are: Spanish, English, French, Italian, Swahili, Farsi, Greek, Russian, Portuguese, German, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Swiss, Celtic, Irish, and Swedish. My Finnish and Hungarian are also getting pretty good.

I'm an assassin.

I've trained since I was young to be an assassin. At Blackthorne, I always excelled. At first, it was to try to earn the approval of a dad that never cared for me, but it eventually turned into something I _wanted_ to do. I wanted to succeed and be the best ever. I wanted people to remember my name.

I've killed people.

I still remember my first kill. He was the leader of a terrorist group, and he had looked so scared when I pointed the gun at him. I felt just as scared as him as I pulled the trigger and watched the life go out of his eyes. I felt even more scared for days afterward, but it eventually faded into a kind of numbing pain.

I'm a killer.

A murdered.

A liar.

A catastrophe.

A monster.

Do I like it? Do you want an honest answer? If you do –and even if you don't- the answer is: sometimes. Sometimes I like the feeling of power. I like the confidence that it gives me. I like fading into the night and virtually being invisible. That's why they send me. They could send anyone to blow him up, but they want the killings to look like accidents or like inside jobs. I'm sent to blend in and then strike when the time is right. And I'm good at what I do.

But, I hate watching someone die. I have to stay just to make sure they really do die, and I hate when I feel for their pulse and there isn't one. I hate when I find out –or know beforehand- that the person I'm killing has a family. I know, as I watch the life drain out of the person I've killed, that sometime later, someone else will be hurting for that person. Because they cared for that person and it hurt them.

Sometimes I wondered how many people I'd hurt, but it did no good. I always ended up thinking in circles until my head began to hurt and I had to stop. I didn't like to think about me being the cause of pain for –possibly and probably- hundreds of people. It wasn't a good feeling.

Katie stirred in my arms and brought me out of my train of thought. I looked down at her; she was still asleep, but her expression was pained, even in sleep. I disentangled myself from her and went to get her a pill and a glass of water. It had been three days since her accident, and it was her first night home. I had contacted Jonas as soon as he could and he fabricated another mission for me; one that was going to take me ten days.

I gently woke Katie up by kissing her forehead. "Katie."

She stirred and moaned softly. "What?"

"You need to take another pill."

She gratefully accepted the pill and the glass of water. "Thanks."

"Sure."

Her parents had been antsy about me staying the night, but Katie had begged and what were we going to be able to do while she had a broken arm, anyway? We had agreed to keep the door open, but even then her parents stayed up until almost ten-thirty before finally going to bed. I, on the other hand, had stayed awake. I had been on jobs where I had to stay awake all night, watching my target or doing a stake out. I was used to lack of sleep.

Katie handed me the glass of water and I put it on her bedside table. "How are you feeling?" Some times were worse than others.

She forced a smile for me. "Just waiting for the painkiller to kick in. It hurts pretty bad." She grimaced when she moved slightly and I flinched, feeling pain for her. I hated seeing her in pain and I wished more than anything in the world that there was something I could do for her. I wished that I could take her pain away. But, all I could do was stay with her like she'd asked.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I stroked her soft hair gently. Her mother had helped her take a shower earlier, and even with help I could hear her scream occasionally from the pain. Her hair was soft and smelled as good as ever; one thing that hadn't changed. Another was her bright green eyes; they were as beautiful and luminous as ever.

"I know," she replied.

I stroked her hair and it was silent for a few minutes. I'd honestly thought that she'd fallen asleep until she said, "Grant?"

"Hmm?" I asked.

"Can you do something for me?"

_Anything in the world. Whatever you want. Name it; I'll find a way._ "Of course."

"Kiss me."

I wasn't sure I'd heard her right. "Are you sure?"

"Please?"

_She's begging you to kiss her, idiot! Kiss her!_ "Will it hurt your arm at all?"

"I'll try not to move," she replied.

Careful to avoid any possible contact with her arm, I leaned in and kissed her. Her lips were soft and eager against mine. I pulled away after a few seconds and asked, "Does it hurt?"

She shook her head. "It helps."

I kissed her again, lacing the fingers of one hand through her hair. She laid perfectly still, though she kissed me back. I pulled away and wrapped her in my arms carefully so that it wouldn't hurt her arm. She leaned her head up to kiss my neck and whispered. "I love you, Grant."

"I love you, too, Katie."

_I love you, Grant._

Did I mention I'm an assassin?


	11. Chapter 11

11.

Name: Percer Wilfred Age: 24 Status: Richest man in France Height: 6'1 Weight: No one knows for sure; estimated at 215 Hair: Brown and neatly trimmed Eyes: Brown Address: 3601 Mansion Ave, France Facial hair: None Car: Viper Business: Automobiles Family: None Estimated worth: $120 million Reason I know who the heck he is: He's my target.

I tailed him to a party and waited in a coffee shop across the street, watching carefully for him to leave. He finally did around 2 am and I followed him home carefully. I could have just simply walked behind him the whole way –in plain view- and he wouldn't have even noticed. He was flat out drunk. But, just because of my training, I was cautious, sticking to shadows and avoiding streetlight as best I could.

Katie thinks that Blackthorne is on a field trip in Washington D.C. I'd rather be on a field trip in Washington D.C. It'd be so much better to visit the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial than to be tailing someone with the intent of killing them.

Who hired me? I don't know; it was anonymous.

How much was I getting paid? $500,000.

Why did someone want Percer dead? I don't know.

I did what I was told to do because that's the way that it had been for so long. No questions; just do it. But I was starting to have serious second thoughts, and a lot of them were because of how much Katie had changed my life. I felt guilty every time I thought about the gun, concealed beneath my black jacket.

Katie would have loved Paris. She would love to see the Eiffel Tower so brilliantly lit up in the night or see the wonderful architecture. She would love the stars and the smell of the bakeries. She would love the coffee and maybe she would even find a Caesar salad that she would like as much as Ray's (though I highly doubted that). She would love the entire atmosphere of the city and she would love how the people talked. I wish she could be with me. And yet, I don't. She can't know that I'm a monster, an assassin. But I do wish she could come with me to Paris some other time, under better circumstances, of course.

Percer's house was huge. But, what would you expect from a very wealthy man? His security system – I found when I hacked into it with my laptop – was state of the art. It took me almost thirty minutes to crack, and that was even with Jonas' help. I probably could have done it by myself, but it would have taken me twice as long and my heart just wasn't totally in it.

Not just the hacking. My heart wasn't in _any_ of it. I felt like I was having an out-of-body-experience. I was watching myself waiting for the right moment. I felt that familiar buzz that I got when I knew I was about to kill, but it didn't excite me as much as it normally did.

Katie.

_I wonder what she's doing right now._

Stop.

_Is her arm bothering her?_

Quit.

_Is she lying awake, sleepless because I'm not around_?

Now isn't the time.

_I miss her._

No, you don't.

I knew that it was dangerous to get attached to someone. It was dangerous for anybody, really, but especially for an assassin. I needed to be totally focused on my mission, not thinking about the girl that I loved. But I just couldn't help it. My thoughts constantly wandered to her, no matter how much I tried to hold them back.

Oh well.

I picked the lock on Percer's house and then hacked through the alarm system in the ten seconds required before it alerted the police. My mind was completely focused now, not wandering at all as I made my way through the dark. The house smelled strongly of flowers and my footsteps didn't make a sound on the floor. Slowly, I made my way up the stairs and down the hall, to where I knew his bedroom was.

I opened the door softly, making sure that it didn't squeak at all. Percer was at a desk, the light from the lamp far too bright. He was squinting, looking down at papers on his desk. Probably reviewing something for work. He had no idea that it was a waste of time. He wouldn't make it to work tomorrow.

I felt a rush, but not the usual kind of rush that I get when I'm on a job. This rush was unpleasant and it washed over me so strongly that I struggled to breathe for a few seconds. Percer turned in his chair and his eyes locked with mine. I the time that it took for his mouth to drop open, I drew my gun and pointed it at him.

His eyes, already widened in shock, grew darker. "Who are you?" he asked in French.

"It doesn't matter," I replied. "I was sent here to kill you."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

This confused him. "You don't even know why you are killing me?"

"I was hired," I replied simply.

"By whom?"

"I don't know," I said. I usually didn't exchange small talk with my targets, but everything felt different about this job. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I knew that it wasn't the same. It didn't feel the same. It felt like I was on my first job again, with the jitters and everything.

He said nothing else, so I aimed the gun carefully. It wouldn't do to leave evidence behind. Not that anyone could trace it to me, but just to be safe.

_What would Katie think of this?_

She would hate me, I knew that.

_She doesn't have to know._

With a heavy heart and a shaky hand, I pulled the trigger.

Did I mention I'm an assassin?


	12. Chapter 12

12.

Katie kissed me again, longer this time, more passionate. I knew where it was trying to go, and I wanted it more than anything. But, I forced myself to pull back. "Your arm."

She frowned. "Is that the only excuse you have?"

"You just started physical therapy last week," I reminded her gently. "You still have to take painkillers."

"Not as frequently," she argued.

"But enough," I replied, reaching out to stroke her hair. "And your parents could be home any minute."

She sighed. "Grant…."

"Technically," I said with a smile. "Shouldn't _I_ be the one that wants sex and you be the one that wants to wait? I mean, you're the one with the purity ring and everything."

She bit back a smile. "I told you, the purity ring isn't necessarily an 'I-want-to-wait-for-marriage' kind of thing. It's just that I wanted to wait for the right person."

"_Wanted_?"

She leaned in closer to me, her mouth only centimeters from mine. When she spoke, I could feel her warm breath and practically taste the grape Powerade that she'd had only minutes earlier. "You're it," she said in a whisper. "You're the person that I want to have my first time with."

_Did I mention I'm an assassin?_

_Did I mention I've been keeping MAJOR secrets from you ever since we first met?_

_Did I mention that I'm not who you think I am?_

_I'm an assassin._

_Did I mention that?_

_I don't think I did._

_No, I didn't._

"What led you to that decision?" I shifted so that we were lying side by side, our faces only inches from each others, our bodies pressed together. I loved her warmth and her smell. Like vanilla.

She drew figured on my shirt with her finger as she spoke. "Everything. You in general. The kind of person that you are. My family really likes you. I love you. I want us to have something special that no one else in the world will be able to take away. I want us to make it."

_We can't make it, Katie. I've been lying to you and deceiving you. You should hate me; you should see right through me. _But of course, she couldn't, because I had been trained to lie and deceive. And I was good at it. There were times, though, when I thought that Katie could see right through me.

Like when she whispered, "What aren't you telling me, Grant?"

_Just tell her now._

No, you idiot! That'll ruin everything. Lie.

_Great, fix a lie with more lies. Nothing smarter than that technique._

Before I could answer, she asked, "You don't feel that way about me?"

It had never been spoken aloud, but Katie and I had some sort of agreement to always tell each other how we were feeling. Of course, I could never tell her that I was feeling horrible because I'd just gotten back from killing someone.

_See? You even break unspoken agreements. You're a horrible person._

I know.

I've always known, I suppose. But being with Katie brought that good part of me out. It made me want to be a better person, if only for her.

_You in general. The kind of person you are._

She really meant it, and it was sort of true. I was a good person….to an extent. I was nice to people (except the ones that I killed), I tried to help people (except for the ones that I killed), and above all, I had gone through changes with Katie. I had fallen in love, and first love always changes someone; molds them into something different while still keeping part of who they were before. The changes weren't instant, but rather, they happened over time so that I didn't realize it until I thought about it.

"Grant?"

She was waiting for an answer. "Katie, I want you, and you should know that. I love you; you know I do." I didn't have to lie at all when I said those words; they were completely true. Nothing was more solid or concrete in my life than those two simple, yet powerful facts.

"Then why won't you sleep with me?" she asked.

Any guy would love to be in my position. Katie had extraordinary beauty and she was perfect in every single way. She was basically – but not to the extent of begging – asking me to sleep with her. Guys are supposed to only think about that; day and night. But my concern was for her. "I just want you to be okay, and I'm not sure that you can handle it with your arm."

_And I would feel guilty the whole time._

She rolled her eyes. "Stop being so concerned for me. The physical therapist said that it was a miracle that I could move it as well as I do. It doesn't cause me so much pain anymore. I can dress and shower myself and everything."

"Sex is a lot more complicated than dressing or showering," I said with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes. "Dr. Jacobs said that working it out is good. We should listen to him."

"He also said that you need to do those exercises he showed you every day. Still think we should listen to him?"

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Just think about it, okay?"

"Of course," I replied, kissing her forehead, glad that the discussion was over. I didn't mind talking to Katie about anything –even if it was serious- but sex was just a really gray area for me. I was already attached to Katie more than an assassin should ever be attached to anyone. I was already on dangerous ground. Sex would make it so much more difficult.

And if she got pregnant…..

"Are you on birth control?" I asked suddenly.

She looked up at me, puzzled as to why I was blurting out that random question when the discussion had seemingly been over. "Yeah," she replied. "My dad put me on it in ninth grade."

"Oh, just wondering."

She gave me a knowing smile. "We can be safe."

I sighed and smiled as I kissed her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she replied.

Did I mention I'm an assassin?


	13. Chapter 13

13.

"How's Katie's arm?" Jonas asked as I pulled on a dark Aeropostale shirt. I ran a hand through me hair as I said, "Good. A lot better. She went to physical therapy today and she might get to get the cast off and move to a brace."

"When does she find out?"

"Her dad's doing X-Rays right now."

"Does it cause her a lot of pain anymore?" Zach asked from the bed.

I shook my head. "Not much."

"So, have you two…"

"Zach," I warned.

I turned just in time to see him smirk. "You don't wan to?"

"It's complicated, Zach."

"Does _she_ want to?"

I turned back to my small closet to find my Nike Shox. "Yes."

"Then what are you waiting for?" he exclaimed and I heard him sit up on his bed. It was as if I had said that I had been offered ten million dollars and had decided not to take it yet.

_What am I waiting for?_

The right person: that was Katie.

The right time: we had ample opportunity.

The right place: we had that.

So, what? In truth, I knew that it was simply the fact that I was afraid. Put me in a room with a group of terrorists and I'll fight them off. Point to a bomb and I'll disable it. Point out a person and I can break their neck. I'm an assassin; no fear. But, yes, I was afraid. Afraid to get closer to her than I already was. Afraid to hurt her. Afraid, afraid, afraid. Terrified, maybe.

"That's none of your business," I said as I finished lacing my shoes. "I'll see you guys later."

"Bye," Jonas replied, typing at a rapid speed on his laptop. Dr. Steve had given him an extra credit assignment, so of course Jonas would want to finish it in one night.

"Later," Zach said as he laid back on his bed.

I went out into the hall, peered around the corner, and moved soundlessly through the ancient building. It had once been a castle, and of course it had been renovated since then, but it was still undeniably old. The buttresses and towers confirmed that. The building also had an eerie quality about it; especially at night. It felt like the kind of place ghosts would live.

It was funny, really. Blackthorne had always been my home, no matter how strict and confining it was. It was the only place that I'd ever really felt right; felt like I had a place. I had only seen my father a few times and I didn't consider him my family. I had no family. And what better place to go when you have no family than a place where other people live that also have no family?

I snuck outside and over the grounds, careful to avoid the laser beam and trip wire patters that I no longer needed a map for. I'd been sneaking off of the grounds since my first year; I had every little detail memorized.

I got past the guard towers and search lights and made my way through the woods easily. I reached Katie's house at eight and knocked on the door. Mrs. Brown answered it, smiling, and moved to allow me to come inside. "Hi, Grant, how are you?"

"Good, ma'am," I replied. "Yourself?"

She smiled, "Good. Katie's in her room."

I made my way up the stairs and into Katie's room. She was sitting on her bed, a big textbook open in her lap. She had agreed to do all of her work at home instead of going back to school. Her hair was in a messy bun with loose tendrils framing her face, and she wore black sweat pants and a T-shirt. No makeup, but her natural beauty was more than enough.

She looked up at me and smiled, "Hey!" she said brightly, like she always did when I arrived. I smiled and moved to her bedside to give her a quick kiss. "Hey."

She held up her arm, which was now in a black brace instead of a cast. I had noticed it before, of course – because assassins notice everything – but I let her think that I was surprised. "Awesome!"

She nodded eagerly. "I was _so_ happy to get it off."

"I'll bet. Whatcha workin' on?"

"English," she replied. "Edgar Allan Poe."

"_Annabel Lee_?" I asked.

"You know it?" she asked, surprised.

"Of course," I told her. I didn't tell her that I knew it so well because it had once been the only thing that I'd had to entertain myself on a job. "I have it memorized."

"You do not," she accused. "Prove it." She shut her textbook.

I took a breath and recited:

"It was many and many a year ago,

In a Kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

By the name of Annabel Lee;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,

In this kingdom by the sea;

But we loved with a love that was more than love-

I and my Annabel Lee;

With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven

Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,

In this kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

My beautiful Annabel Lee;

So that her highborn kinsman came

And bore her away from me

To shut her up in a sepulcher

In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,

Went envying her and me-

Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,

In this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of the cloud by night,

Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love

Of those who were older than we-

Of many far wiser than we-

And neither the angels in heaven above,

Nor the demons down under the sea,

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

Of my darling – my darling – my life and my bride,

In the sepulcher there by the sea,

In her tomb by the sounding sea."

Katie's eyes were filled with wonder. You may think that guys should be tough, not able to recite poetry. But, I didn't care if it made Katie happy. She leaned forward and kissed me. When she pulled away, she asked, "Would you do that for me?"

Would I lie by her tomb at night?

Would I be empty inside if she died?

"Yes."

She leaned forward to kiss me again.

Did I mention I'm an assassin?


	14. Chapter 14

14.

_**(May I just take the time to say that I LOVE Miriam C. Garnet's reviews! Keep them coming, seriously!)**_

I awoke from a very pleasant dream to Zach shaking me. "Dude, come on. Wake up."

I groaned and wanted to pull the covers up over my head and block out the sound of Zach's voice so that I could sleep. I knew that I had a conversational Farsi, Swahili, and Arabic test today, though. I'd be ready for it, I knew. My dad had taught me Farsi, Swahili, and Arabic before he'd even taught me English, so those felt more like my natural languages than English did. That's why I never included them when I was going over the list of languages that I spoke fluently. So, that technically means that I speak twenty languages. (All of them were taught to me before I'd even begun attending Blackthorne, where I'd then perfected them.) Languages were one of the only things that my dad had ever bothered to teach me. He used to make me speak a certain language each day (one day it'd be Portuguese, the next it would be Greek) and if I spoke a language that wasn't assigned that day, I had to run three miles and do pushups until I collapsed.

Needless to say, I always spoke the assigned language.

"The test is in an hour," Zach reminded me.

Jonas –my best friend of the moment- said, "We all know Grant doesn't need to study for any kind of language test. _You_, on the other hand, need to work on conjugating your Arabic verbs."

Zach said, "Fine. But you have the honors of waking him up to get him to Mr. Lackler's room on time."

"Fine."

I heard Zach leave and I relaxed, thankful that I got to sleep for a little bit longer. I had been with Katie until around ten –her parents had extended her curfew- and I hadn't gotten back into my room until eleven-thirty. I was used to lack of sleep, yes, but not lack of sleep while I should have had ample opportunity to get all of the sleep that I needed and more. Even though I had gotten back into my room and brushed my teeth and gotten into bed before midnight, I still couldn't fall asleep because I kept thinking of Katie.

And that stupid _Annabel Lee_ poem kept running through my head.

_It was many and many a year ago,_

_In a kingdom by the sea._

_That a maiden there lived whom you may know;_

_By the name of Annabel Lee._

Why did Edgar Allan Poe have to invent such a touching poem? Yeah, okay, I'm 6'1, close enough to 200 pounds of all muscle. I can kill someone with my bare hands or any item that lies nearby. I speak many languages and lose multiple tails in a high speed chase. I'm dangerous. But I know poetry, and I'm not ashamed to admit that fact. Well, at least, not to Katie. I would never tell Zach. Ever. Because he would never, ever let me live it down.

Seriously. I would know.

One time, in ninth grade, I had explained what thyme was and what it was most used in. He had mocked me for weeks for being such a "girl" and had gotten me an apron for Christmas (along with a bottle of thyme).

Despite that, though, Zach was a good brother.

Or, rather, as close to a brother as I would ever have.

I fell asleep and it felt like only seconds later when Jonas shook me. "Grant, we need to go."

Without a debate, I stood and walked to my closet. I pulled on my clothes and didn't even bother to mess with my hair because who really cared? Besides, I usually wore it messy anyway. I walked out of the room with Jonas and we made our way down the hall. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah." Why would I not be okay?

"You got back kind of late," was all he said in explanation.

"Oh. Katie's parents extended the curfew another hour."

"Oh."

We reached Mr. Lackler's room and we took seats towards the back. Mr. Lackler paced at the front of the room, occasionally running a restless hand over his graying hair or over his worn face. Finally, when it was time for class to begin, he said, "Someone shut the doors."

Jordan Nichols shut the door and returned to his seat.

The first part of the test consisted of Mr. Lackler passing out a blank sheet of paper and telling us to conjugate certain words. (Guess Jonas knew what he was talking about.) After he'd taken up the papers, he returned to the front of the room and set the stack on his desk.

It was time for the practical part.

He would speak to us in all three languages, and we were expected to answer him in perfect dialect. If we even hesitated for a second, he could fail us on the spot. He started on the front row, with Nathan Daniels, whose Swahili was lacking.

My thoughts wandered to Katie, knowing that it would be at least thirty minutes before it would be my turn. She would be doing homework, sitting on her bed, maybe thinking about me? It was a strange hope, but it made me smile.

"Um was lächeln Sie?"

I hadn't realized that it was my turn until Mr. Lackler said those words, standing right in front of where I was sitting.

_Why are you smiling?_ I really couldn't answer that honestly. "Ich habe nicht gedacht, dass die Prüfung war, auf Deutsch, Herr stattzufinden." _I didn't think the test was to take place in German, sir._ And it was true; I had thought that we were supposed to be testing over Swahili, Arabic, and Farsi.

"Farò questo test sopra qualunque lingua che voglio a, Grant." _I will make this test over any language I want to, Grant_. Now, he spoke Italian.

"Sì, il signore." _Yes, sir_.

"J'ai beaucoup de confiance dans vos capacités de langue, toutefois. Je ne voit pas de besoin de vous essayer plus."

_I have much confidence in your language abilities, however. I see no need to test you further._

And it was true. When it came to languages, I was the best at Blackthorne Institute. "Merci, monsieur," I replied humbly, because it's never a good thing to get overconfident.

Did I mention I'm an assassin?


	15. Chapter 15

15.

Katie and I sat in our usual booth in Ray's as she finished off her –you guessed it- Caesar salad. She pushed the plate away and finished off her Mtn Dew. "You know," she said in a nonchalant voice, "that was the best Caesar salad that I've ever had in my entire life."

I smiled. "Really?"

She nodded. "Oh, and I love spring break."

"Me too," I agreed. Spring break would begin officially after only one more day of classes and I was looking forward to it. Normally, I spent it on a mission, but no missions had come up so I had asked Jonas to fabricate one so that I could spend my whole break with Katie.

Some sort of emotion temporarily overtook her face, but she veiled it quickly and gave me her familiar sweet smile. "Any plans?"

"No," I told her as I had a week earlier when we had discussed Spring Break plans.

"Oh." There was that look again, but once more, she hid it as quickly as she could. But I knew that I had seen it.

"Katie?" I questioned.

Glenda came and took our plates and I paid the bill.

"Katie?" I asked again when she had left.

Katie bit her lip, the ultimate signal that something was wrong. I tried to think back to yesterday, but there had been no sign that anything was wrong. She'd been acting completely normal.

What could it be? Was her arm bothering her? No, she wouldn't be acting the ways he was just because her arm was bothering her. And, besides, her arm had been doing better and better. She'd recently moved on to an even less bulky brace, one that made it so much easier for her. She could do anything now without help from anyone.

Glenda came back with the apple pie and then left again.

"Katie." This time, my voice wasn't questioning her. I was telling her to look at me and tell me what was going on. It wasn't demanding, but she looked up at me with her beautiful green eyes all the same.

She bit her lip again and then asked, "What?"

"You tell me." It was my turn to pick, so I took a bite of the pie.

Katie didn't even reach for her fork. She took a deep breath. "I want you to listen to everything that I say before you utter so much as a sound."

_This can't be good_. "Okay."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

_She found out that I'm an assassin._

_She's scared of me now._

_She hates me._

_She doesn't ever want to see me again._

I acted normal, sitting patiently while taking another bite of pie. Assassins had to act normal under any circumstances and no matter how fast their heart was beating or how nervous they were.

"I want to have sex." She sounded forty-years-old when she said it, and I knew that she had carefully formulated a plan, probably after I had left the previous night. She gave me a look that said that she thought I was going to try to interrupt –and I wanted to- but I remembered my promise and said nothing.

She continued, "We have the perfect time, perfect opportunity, perfect place, and perfect situation. My parents are leaving with my two little sisters after school tomorrow to go visit my grandparents in Reno. I convinced them to let me stay home alone by telling them that you're going to visit your dad in New York. They'll be gone all week, and you can stay over at the house and everything. We can be –and _will_ be- totally safe and smart about it. And before you say anything about my arm, just remember that I've been going back to tumbling and it just keeps feeling better and better. I'm getting stronger all the time and Dad says that I can get the brace off completely soon. I'm not in pain anymore, ever. So don't make this about my arm, because that's not an acceptable excuse anymore."

I waited, still.

She gave me a small smile, amused that I was actually keeping my promise. "I'm done."

I took a deep breath and pushed another bite of the pie into my mouth. "You lied to your parents so that you'd have the opportunity to sleep with me?"

Part of me felt like laughing because it was amusing, in a way, but another part of me felt touched inside. Was I really that special? The look in Katie's eyes told me that I was. At least, to her.

"Yes," she replied.

I sighed and said, "Katie….." but suddenly, I didn't want to object. I _couldn't_ object. Because I had no reason to object. I wanted to. I wanted to be with Katie. There was no part of her plan that wasn't well-thought-out and perfect. There was absolutely no reason to say no. And, I realized, I didn't want to say no.

"Okay," I said instead.

Her entire face lit up and it made me smile, too. "Okay? Is that an okay about me lying to my parents or an okay, we'll do it?" She already knew the answer –or was pretty sure she did- but she wanted me to say it.

"Both," I said with a smile.

She'd never looked happier in her life. (Well, at least, in the time that I'd known her.) "Awesome."

I felt like I was on cloud nine, just that suddenly. I felt happier than I had ever been in my entire life. I was in love with the most amazing person on the planet and we were going to have a very blissful spring break. Nothing –not even getting a "job"- could have ruined my mood.

I walked her home and promised to be at her house at four. She agreed and gave me a quick kiss before going back inside. I was on top of the world the whole way home, but when I got back to Blackthorne and walked through the doors, I collected myself and acted as if it were just a normal day.

Because that's what I was trained to do.

Did I mention I'm an assassin?


	16. Chapter 16

16.

Too much.

I was feeling too much, all at once.

But I didn't care. Katie slept peacefully in my arms and I was watching her calm expression, a smile glued on my face. Our night – as well as the previous three nights – had been blissfully and absolutely perfect. The first time was a little bit awkward, I'll admit – let's just say that I had a little bit of trouble with her bra – but we hadn't let that bother us at all. To us, it was completely perfect. The second time was even better and the third even more so than the second.

I had never been happier.

Or more afraid.

Being with Katie in such an intimate way made me so euphoric but also more terrified than I'd ever been. I loved her more than anything else in the entire world –more than myself- and I knew that it was dangerous, but I also knew that I would never be able to just walk away now. If the relationship would end, it would be because I hurt her; and I didn't even want to think about that possibility.

Hurting Katie would hurt me, too. It would completely destroy me. Killing someone –a real, live, breathing person- was hard and it always took a piece of my soul. But hurting Katie would destroy my soul. I had given her all of myself, except for that one part that I had to hold back.

My secret.

I'm an assassin.

I wished, more than anything, that she could know. I wished that I could just tell her the truth and we could live without that secret always running around in my head. I wished that I could just quit being an assassin and live happily ever after with Katie in a house with a picket fence and a rose garden. But no one can just stop being an assassin; it simply isn't done.

But maybe no assassin had ever fallen in love before.

_And what does that tell you, Genius?_ The annoying voice in my head asked me. _That means it's too dangerous! Other assassins knew that. They didn't get all mixed up with a civilian._

I hadn't meant to meet her. Those guys wanting to hurt her had just gotten to me, though. What if I had never gone to her rescue? What if I had turned my gaze away and continued drinking my coffee? I couldn't imagine a life without Katie, now that I actually had her in my life.

No, I wanted Katie in my life, that was certain. I just didn't know how exactly I was going to manage it yet. How could I marry her and explain my disappearances all of the time? What if I got killed on a job and never came home? How would it be explained to her? The CIA, of course, would be able to come up with a good cover, but I wouldn't want them to lie to Katie like I was.

She deserved the truth.

But I couldn't deliver it.

I was a coward.

And an assassin.

A cowardly assassin.

Katie stirred in my arms. "Grant?"

"Hmm?" I said as I kissed her hair.

She yawned sleepily. "You're still awake."

"I just woke up now," I lied easily. "Go back to sleep."

She muttered something unintelligible and I smiled and she snuggled closer to me and fell asleep instantly.

Had it been like this with my parents? I wondered. Had my father loved my mother as much as I loved Katie? Had they had moments like this? Did they have a special place to eat? Was my father so cold because of my mother's death; because she had been his whole world and she had died?

Maybe that explained it.

If that explanation had been presented to me before I'd fallen in love with Katie, I never would have accepted it. I would have waved it off and called it a lame excuse. But now, as I stared at the sleeping girl in my arms, I knew it was believable. If Katie died, I would be cold and hard as stone, too.

Suddenly, my father didn't seem so bad. I actually considered tracking him down, but I dismissed the thought. I hadn't seen him in several years, and I didn't feel like a family reunion. Wherever he was, though, I hoped he was safe. Because he was my father –no matter how he treated me- and I owed him that.

Katie stirred again, and this time her eyes opened for real. She was still sleepy, though. Her voice was tired. "You're still awake."

"Just thinking," I replied, kissing her forehead.

"About what?" she asked.

_Things that I'll never be able to tell you. Things that would make you run away from me in horror. Things that make me a terrible person_. "You." And, in a way, it was true. Katie had been weaving in and out of my thoughts as I was thinking about my life as an assassin.

She smiled. "Is that good or bad?"

I gave her a small smirk. "I'll let you know."

She kissed me and when she pulled away, she whispered, "Go to sleep."

I knew that I should. I'd have plenty of time to think about my secret life. So, I gave her a look of fake seriousness and said, "Yes, ma'am."

She rolled her eyes but kissed me. "I love you."

"I love you," I replied easily, glad to speak one of the few things that I didn't have to lie to Katie about.

But there were still so many things that I was keeping hidden.

Did I mention I'm an assassin?


	17. Chapter 17

17.

"Grant, the headmaster wants to see you," a freshman said as he walked up to me. He was a small kid –far too thin- but he had subtle muscles and that look in his green eyes that you can only recognize if you're part of that group. If you're an assassin. Like me.

"Thanks," I said and told Zach, "see you later". I headed for the headmaster's office and was waved in immediately.

"Come in, Grant. Close the door behind you."

I closed the door and sat in a chair across from the desk. I immediately took in every detail of the room as I had learned to do in training. The only suspicious object was the folder under Mr. Blakenship's hands. It was black and simple, the exact same type of folder I got when I acquired a new target.

"How are you today, Grant?" The headmaster's voice was polite. His hair was sprinkled with gray and his brown eyes seemed as far from warm as they could possibly get. It was then that I remembered who he was. He had attended Blackthorne as a boy. He had killed people, too. He was just as dangerous as I was, maybe even more. I had some strength over him, but he'd been living a whole lot longer than I'd had and he'd been in the business for longer. He knew all of the mistakes that a young man could make and he knew how to fight them. He knew what went bump in the night, and he knew how to fight it better than anyone I'd ever met. I didn't look up to him, though, as you may be thinking. He wasn't my role model, because he'd killed people. I'm not a hypocrite; I know that I kill people too. But it's not as though I like myself for it. No, I'm merely saying that I respect him, because I know how hard it can be to live that long in this kind of career and still keep your sanity.

I already felt insane sometimes.

My head would begin to hurt for no reason whatsoever. I would space out constantly, sometimes for hours at a time when I didn't have anything adequate enough to keep me focused. I often felt sick after assignments, sometimes for days. I wasn't worried, though. It was normal. Zach felt it a lot, too, though seemingly not as much as I did. If he was bothered as much by it as I was, he didn't let on. Which wouldn't have surprised me, actually. Assassins are supposed to be calm, cool, and collected.

"I'm good, sir. Yourself?" I asked, because a) he could probably take my head off with his bare hands (though I was sure I could put up a good fight) and b) I had learned in "manners class" that it was only polite to ask somebody how they were when they asked you.

He nodded slowly. "Good, good. Your classes?"

Why was he making small talk? It wasn't abnormal, of course, but it just bugged me, for some reason. Everything revolving around my being an assassin had been bothering me lately. I was becoming paranoid, jumping at the smallest sounds or getting annoyed for the strangest reasons. "Fine, sir. Just fine." He knew that I was the best student in his school. People called for me to do jobs for them more often than any other student in our school. I was better at nearly everything than anyone else in this school. I was –not to sound cocky- the best.

And I hated myself for it.

I hated the headmaster for helping me to become it.

I hated the people that hired me for condoning it.

I hated it.

It was Katie, I knew. I had never had these kinds of thoughts before I met her, but I was having them more and more now. I wanted to be good enough for her, and I would never feel that way as long as I was an assassin. As long as I made money by killing people. As long as I had to lie to her.

"Good," he said and sighed, picking up the folder and holding it out to me. "His name is Leonard Nixon."

I took the folder and held it, but I didn't open it. I didn't want to see the face of the man that I would have to kill just yet. I wasn't sure that I could handle it yet. Instead, I just listened as he was described to me.

"He's a tumbling coach at American Gymnastics in…." the headmaster droned on, but all I could think was _that's Katie's gym_.

"He used to be CIA, but he quit. He opened the gym so that he could escape. You see, there's a Russian mob that wants him dead….."

Somehow I could still hear the words.

"They can't come to into the country, however, so they called me. I used to have strong connections with them, you know, from when I was in Russia. I recommended you and they agreed. 700 thousand dollars. In that folder, you'll find a list of his information. I had a freshman tail him all of last week…."

_Was it the same freshman that came to get me?_ I wondered. _Did he know that I was being assigned to kill the man that he'd had to tail?_

"Inside, there's a list of his usual activities as well as a list of his students. Mr. Land was very thorough in his research."

"Why couldn't he kill Leonard, then?" I asked. I wasn't being defiant; I just needed to know.

"He's ex-CIA, Grant. He could still be very dangerous. We need someone with experience."

That would be me: The experienced assassin.

"Yes, sir."

"Dismissed."

I left the room and then slumped against a wall in the hallway. I didn't want to know, but I had to. I opened the folder, found the list of the students, and saw it.

_Katie Brown_.

"Oh, God."

I was going to kill Katie's tumbling coach.

Did I mention I'm an assassin?


	18. Chapter 18

17.

"You okay, bro?" Zach asked when I walked into the room. I bet I looked like hell. I'd gone for a run in an attempt to soothe my mind, and it had worked…while I was running. Now that I wasn't running anymore, I felt just as keyed up as I had when I'd seen Katie's name on that list and knew that I was being asked to kill her tumbling coach.

I was being asked to hurt her.

I'd heard Katie talk about her coach, always in a loving tone. She'd been tumbling with him since she was seven, and she trusted him more than any other coach. He'd coached her to success; he was the reason that she was the number one power tumbler in the US. She'd told me many stories about how she couldn't believe in herself to learn a new skill, and he had talked her through it until she was ready. She'd told me that she wouldn't be half as good as she is if he hadn't been her coach. It was obvious that she cared about him. And now I was being assigned to kill him.

How exactly could I refuse? I couldn't just march up to the headmaster's office and tell him that I wouldn't do it. That may sound simple, but it simply isn't done. He could have _me_ killed, and then Katie's coach would still get killed by somebody else. He could take mercy on me (which is probably what he'd do since I'm a very valuable assassin) and just assign someone else to kill Katie's coach (which still get shim dead and Katie upset, I just wouldn't feel quite as guilty). I had to think it through, but no plan came to me, no matter how hard I tried. All I got was a huge blank.

There had to be a way.

"Earth to Grant," Zach said, looking concerned (well, as concerned as _Zach_ can be) as he sat up on his bed. "You okay?"

No. I was far from okay. I felt like screaming or crying or punching something so hard that it would disintegrate. I wanted to be a little kid again so that I could curl up in bed and sleep it off. But I wasn't a little kid. I was an assassin that was fully equipped to fight the monsters that the little kids were afraid of.

"Yes," I lied, because assassins lie. All the time. To everyone, even the people that we care about. And, yes, it hurts sometimes, but I felt so numb that I didn't hurt at all. I felt myself beginning to harden, trying to put up a façade so that Zach couldn't truly see. I couldn't have _him_ trying to talk me out of it as well as myself trying to talk me out of it. My internal battle was enough.

But would he try to talk me _out_ of it? Or would he try to help me _through_ it? Would he give me a pat on the back and tell me that everything was going to be okay, or would he offer to take my place in shooting Katie's coach? I had no idea what Zach would do, and that's why I didn't tell him.

He gave me a strange look. "Where have you been?"

"Headmaster's office."

"For four hours?" he asked skeptically, looking pointedly at my sweat-darkened hair and T-shirt.

"I went for a run to clear my head," I said. Wanting to change the subject as quickly as possible, I pointed to Jonas' empty bed. "Where's Jonas?"

"Doing a data encryption project in the computer lab." Zach was still studying me. "Are you sure you're okay?"

It was nice that he was asking, but my resolve was absolute. I wasn't going to tell him. I was going to figure out a plan all on my own (even though the plan might actually involve Jonas at some point). I couldn't bring Zach into it because Zach might either talk me out of it or into it, and I had no idea which would be best.

So, I nodded, "Fine. Just tired," and then I went to go take a shower.

I tossed and turned all night, afraid to fall asleep because when I had initially, my dream had been of killing Katie. So, I had woken up in cold sweat and hadn't been back to sleep since. I could have snuck down to the lab and stolen some of Dr. Lesley's sleeping pills that knock you into a coma-like state for the night, but it was as if I were trapped in my own body. I could think, but I couldn't move. Finally, when I could move, I was so exhausted that I didn't do more than continuously toss and turn in my bed.

When morning finally rolled around, I was the first one up and dressed. I left just as Jonas was stirring and I roamed the quiet halls until breakfast time. I ate as quickly as I could, not even bothering to look at what I was shoving into my mouth. It all tasted the same, anyways. When I was full, I headed back to my suite and grabbed my book for Encryption class.

Zach had to keep nudging me to pay attention and I constantly felt as if I were just going to fall asleep. My night had been plagued with the horror of what I was assigned to do and I still couldn't escape it, even in the light of day. I still heard Katie talking about her coach and it made it that much harder to think about killing him.

I'd always had a plan before, but I thought that maybe I should just go in blind.

_He's ex-CIA, dummy. He'll probably still be good. Going in blind wouldn't be a wise move_.

Neither is killing your girlfriend's tumbling coach.

Did I mention I'm an assassin?


	19. Chapter 19

19.

I told Katie goodnight and left. She'd asked me what was wrong several times, but I had lied and told her that I just had a headache. I made my way through the quiet streets and finally to the car that I had been given for this mission. I drove with purpose to American Gymnastics, where apparently, Leonard lived. He had built on a small extra session so that he would always be close to his gym.

His security was basic for a man that had never stopped being paranoid. I disabled it in ten minutes, using a new software that Jonas had developed and I had borrowed for the occasion. I pulled up a map showing all motion sensors and then, within ten more minutes, I had disabled those, too.

I grabbed the gun from the middle console and opened the car door, careful not to make a sound as I shut it behind me. I made my way across the dewy grass, my footsteps soundless and sure. I felt myself slipping into assassin mode: the part of me that was deadly and dangerous and knew how to kill a man. The part of me that loved the shadows and was never afraid.

I'd already disabled his alarm system, so I merely had to pick the lock on his door before I slipped inside. His small house was quiet, and I was careful not to make a sound as I closed the door. I saw a light on somewhere down the hall, so I made my way towards it, soundlessly. I could hear my heart hammering in my ears and I felt like I'd never be able to swallow again. I could feel sweat building up on my face and my head began to pound.

I reached the door to what must have been his bedroom, and I inhaled before pushing the door open, pointing the gun. He wasn't in there, but I heard water running from behind a small door in the corner of the room and I knew that he was in the shower. I walked around the small room, looking at the belongings that he had out.

I paused when I saw a picture of him with Katie.

He was wearing a blue Power Tumbling T-shirt, and he was smiling with his arm around Katie's small shoulders. Katie looked about thirteen, and she was grinning from ear to ear, holding a trophy that she must have won at a competition earlier. Her hair was in a ponytail and she wore dark makeup that I'd never seen her wear before. Maybe it was required for cheer competitions or something.

There was another picture of Katie right beside that one. In the next one, she was twisting through the air, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. It was an amazing photograph, one that would have required precise timing to take. Katie looked so carefree in that moment, so weightless.

The shower stopped running and I felt myself tense up. I couldn't take my eyes off of the photograph, however. Wasn't Katie afraid that she was going to fall? It looked like she had to be twisting pretty fast. But I remembered her telling me that she was often afraid while she was tumbling, but Leonard helped her through it.

The door opened and Leonard stepped out.

He looked just like his picture, obviously. He was African American and only reached about 5'11. His head was bald and his eyes were brown and had that look in them that said that he knew exactly what was going on, even though he also looked surprised. He wore only the towel that was wrapped around his waist.

He was waiting for me to speak.

I pointed the gun.

My finger covered the trigger.

"I love her, you know." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

To his credit, he didn't look confused. He just asked, "Who?" in the manner of someone asking what your favorite ice cream flavor is.

"Katie."

"Ah," he said. "She is quite special. She has a lot of talent, that one. She's stubborn and powerful…..and she has a fire."

"Yeah," I said softly.

He gave me a sad smile. "Does she know?"

I was pointing a gun at him and he was sympathizing for me. "No. I can't tell her. I can't…"

He nodded slowly. "I understand."

He did? He did. "Am I doing the right thing?"

"Perhaps," he said. "It all depends on perspective, I suppose. I do understand your point of view, though. You love her and so you want to protect her. You don't want her to know that you're part of the reason that things go bump in the night."

No, I didn't. "Why are you being so nice to me? I'm here to kill you."

"I know," he said. "But it isn't your fault. It's what you've been trained all of your life to do. You're just following orders. The people that I'm mad at are hundreds of miles away."

"Why do they want you?" I asked.

"Because I left," he answered simply.

"Why did you leave?"

"I got tired of it all," he said.

I lowered my gun, but only slightly. "I can't kill you."

He looked surprised.

"You have to disappear," I said. "Right now. _Tonight_. Make sure that it looks like nothing is missing. Make it look like you're gone without a trace. I can get you a fake ID if…"

"I have one," he said. "I figured someone would come after me someday. It's not registered with the agency, so no one will be able to track me."

I lowered the gun completely and put the safety on. "You can't ever come back. You have to…"

"I know," he said. And the look in his eyes told me that he really did know. He knew what kind of sacrifice I was making. "I'll leave the country."

"Okay," I said, and then I turned to leave. 

"Hey," he called after me.

I turned around, "Yeah?"

He gave me a curt nod that meant that he respected me. It meant thanks. "Katie's lucky."

"Is she?" I asked before leaving, not wanting to hear the answer.

Did I mention I'm an assassin that just bombed a job?


	20. Chapter 20

20.

"He's gone," Katie sobbed into my chest. "He's gone."

I tightened my arms around her and inhaled the scent of her hair. She sounded so pathetic that I wanted to tell her everything: that I was the reason her tumbling coach was gone. That I'm an assassin. That I've killed people. She'd forgive me, right? I mean, I hadn't killed her coach; I had given him a way out. I had basically saved him. Would she see that, or would she just see me as the reason he was gone?

I wanted to tell her everything, but I didn't. Instead, I just murmured into her hair, "I know, Katie; I know." And I did, better than anyone. I knew that he had disappeared without a trace because of me. The people at American Gymnastics didn't know what to think, they just knew that he was gone; no note, no trace. I'd surveyed the work myself and I had been impressed; he might have been ex-CIA, but he could go back into practice anytime he wanted to I was sure. I wondered where he had gone, but there wasn't really any way to tell unless I put a week's worth of work into it. He hadn't told me the name of his untraceable alias.

Maybe he went to Germany, or maybe Mozambique. Maybe to some small town or village, so that no one would be able to find him. It's what I'd do. At Blackthorne, we have whole classes on how to disappear. And yet, I still feel like I'll never be able to just disappear. Too many people know what I can do, and a lot of people wouldn't be pleased if I disappeared knowing the things that I knew. People would come after me…

Would they be able to find me?

_Could_ I disappear? Maybe I could take Katie with me. After all, she was eighteen now and she could make her own decisions, no matter how much her parents would disagree. But would she run with me? Would she leave behind her family and friends and life? Would I be able to keep us both safe? How many people would they send after me? I had more than enough money for two people to live comfortably on for life. Jonas could make Katie and I fake IDs. He would help, wouldn't he? Would he tell anyone? Would anyone –maybe Zach- come after us? Would the headmaster send people after me? To kill me or bring me back to my horrible lifestyle?

Yes, I just said horrible lifestyle. I hate what I am. I mean, I hate being bad. I'm so good at being an assassin, but what good does that do when I hate it? And the only reason I hate it is because Katie made me develop a conscience. I used to like it –maybe not love it, but I did like it. I liked it because it's what I had always known. I never knew love; I only knew power and strength. I knew how to fight and how to speak multiple languages. I knew how to disable a bomb and how to kill someone with my bare hands. I can run a mile flat out and do math without a calculator. I'm good at what I do, but I don't like what I do.

Yes, I used to.

But not anymore.

"Why would he do this?" Katie said, sounding like the tears were receding slightly. The pain in her voice hadn't lessened at all, though.

"I don't know, Katie. I never knew him." Lie.

I heard the door close downstairs, probably the last of Katie's friends leaving. Most of them had tumbled with her at the gym with Leonard, and they all came to mourn together. I met all of them, even though I really didn't want to. I consoled them when all I really wanted was to console Katie. I was pleasant, like I'd been taught to be at Blackthorne. Calm, cool, and collected.

"I know," she sniffled. "But I told you about him. I thought he cared about me and now…."

It hurt. I knew that Leonard had cared about Katie. I'd seen the pictures and seen the look on his face and heard the love in his voice when I'd been contemplating murdering him. He did care about her. He didn't want to leave. He left because I didn't want to shoot him; because I didn't want to hurt Katie.

"Shh," I said softly, hoping that she would fall asleep or something because this was getting really difficult. I felt like I was about to burst; like if I had to stay much longer, all of my secrets would spill out. And my secrets were dangerous. They weren't things like: my first kiss was in third grade (which it wasn't) or I'm the one that broke my mom's vase (which I did, once when I was four). They were things like: I'm the reason your tumbling coach left, I've killed people, _and I'm an assassin_.

She snuggled closer to me and said, "Don't leave me."

"I won't," I said.

"Stay all night," she pleaded softly, clutching my shirt as if she'd never let go.

"I'm not sure your parents would allow it."

She sighed, "I know."

I kissed her hair.

She said, "I'm quitting. I'm never tumbling again."

"Why?" I had seen videos of her competitions and she had done flips for me before; she was as good at flipping around as I was at being an assassin. She was far too good to just quit.

"I can't tumble without Leonard," she said. "He's the only thing that gets me through it."

Another wave of hurt washed over me. This was just too much. "So what do you want?"

"I want to get out of here," she said honestly, in the tone of someone that knew that she couldn't really do it.

"Out of this town?"

"Yeah."

"So, will you run away with me?"

Did I mention I'm an assassin that has apparently lost his marbles?


	21. Chapter 21

21.

I couldn't quite decipher Katie's expression. At first, she looked confused, but that quickly changed to understanding. Then, she looked like a mixture between elated and upset. I couldn't help but feel bad. Maybe it was the wrong thing to say or maybe it just wasn't the right time. Maybe she just didn't want to run away with me; maybe it was a stupid idea in the first place. I was about to tell her to forget it when she said, "Run away with you?"

"Yeah." That was all that I could get out.

"Like…" she was struggling for the right words to use in her example.

"I just thought that's what you wanted," I said. "Don't worry about it; it's okay. I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "I just…it surprised me. With the Leonard thing going on I just….."

"I shouldn't have brought it up," I said. She was at a vulnerable point in her life. I needed to back off. "Don't worry about it."

She touched my hand. "Are you being for real?"

"What?"

"Your offer, is it real? Would you really run away with me?"

"Yes."

"What about school?" she asked. "You go to the best school in the world. Can you just drop out?"

"Trust me," I said. "School won't be a problem."

She looked like she believed me. "But where would we go?"

"Anywhere you want," I said. "Australia's pretty nice, but I'm personally a fan of Finland or maybe Italy." She had no idea that I'd actually been to all of those places.

"How would we get there, Grant?" she asked in the voice of someone that wanted it to come true, but didn't see how it would be possible. "We don't have that much money. I have, like, maybe eight thousand in the bank, but…."

"I have more than enough money," I replied. "Last time I checked, it was above ten million." I wasn't technically lying. I did have more than ten million. _A lot_ more.

She looked extremely confused. "How did you get that much money?"

_I kill people. People hire me to kill people. They pay me a lot of money to kill people. _"My dad."

"Your dad's a flight attendant."

No, he's an assassin, actually. Like me. But better, probably, because he's been doing it for longer. Lie. Lie. Lie. "His parents had a lot of money and they divided it equally between my dad and me. The interest has been growing. A lot."

Apparently, I was convincing. "My parents won't just let me go. They'll come looking and…"

"I can take care of that," I said.

"How?"

"Fake IDs."

She raised an eyebrow. "How are you planning to do that?"

"There's equipment at Blackthorne that I can use." Not a lie.

"This is…." She drew in a breath, "insane."

"I know," I replied honestly. It was really rash and as an assassin, I should know better than to make those kinds of choices. I should know to think before I speak or act. But, then again, I should've known better than to get involved with a civilian. I should've known better than to let her tumbling coach go. I was just stepping in it right and left.

She leaned into me, her breath warm on my neck. "How soon can we be gone?"

I thought for a moment. Usually, it took Jonas about two days to get everything together that was needed to start a new life. "A couple of days."

She breathed in and out. "Okay."

"Okay?"

She nodded. "Okay. Let's run away. But….."

"But," she hesitated. "I want to be married first."

"Married?"

She nodded. "You know, vows, ring, preacher." She was trying to sound like she was teasing, but I knew she was serious. She really wanted to get married and she really wanted to run away with me. But I couldn't marry her. I just couldn't. I was already lying to her about so much…..

"I don't know, Katie."

"It doesn't have to be an actual wedding," she said quickly. "Just a trip to Vegas or something."

That didn't sound so bad. "Are you sure?" I thought that most girls wanted big fancy weddings with a big wedding dress and a huge reception. But I had learned a long time ago that Katie wasn't like other girls.

She nodded and smiled. "A secret wedding. How exciting."

I chuckled softly and pulled her in for a light kiss. "Okay. Let's do it."

"Really?"

Part of me felt like I was being totally irrational and the other part of me said that I was absolutely right. "Yeah. Let's go to Vegas and get married. Let's run away."

"So, where to?" she asked, all of her worries pushed away.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Italy sounds nice."

I nodded. "Italy it is."

She kissed me.

Four hours later, I walked into the suite. Jonas, thankfully, was the only one in there. Zach was probably working out or something. "Jonas?"

Jonas didn't even look up from his textbook. "Hmm?"

I sighed. "I need a huge favor."

"Sure, Grant. What's up?"

I explained the situation to him and he looked up in shock. "You're…you're really going to do this?"

"Yeah," I said sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck. "Can you help?"

He was already typing away on his laptop. "You'll need a place to live, plane tickets, IDs….this is going to take a few days."

I smiled. "You're in?"

He smiled back at me. "I'm in. I love a challenge."

And it would be a challenge to help me disappear. Because people would definitely come looking for me. But I wasn't scared.

Did I mention I'm an assassin?


	22. Chapter 22

22.

"This is crazy," Jonas said, looking at the large envelope as if he were considering throwing it into the fire so that I would never be able to use the contents inside. He had managed to get me a house in Italy and he had made fake IDs for both Katie and I.

"I know," I said.

Zach was staring out the window silently, as he had been doing for the past hour while Jonas kept asking me if I was sure I wanted to do this. Zach wasn't usually the silent type, so I finally asked, "Zach, you okay, bro?"

"Yeah." Lie.

"You know," I tried to tease; "you should really stay awake during Interrogation class. It'll teach you how to lie better."

He didn't say anything. I took the envelope from Jonas and said, "Can we have a minute?"

Jonas nodded and left. I remained where I was for a few minutes, watching Zach. He was breathing evenly, though I could tell that it was forced. His shoulders were slumped and his hands gripped the windowsill, not tightly but not loosely. His hair was as messy as ever and he wore a typical T-shirt and basketball shorts that he always wore to work out. Something, I knew, was wrong. It wasn't because I knew how to read body language really well; it was because I knew Zach. He was the closest thing that I would ever have to a brother.

I waited. I knew that if I tried to push Zach, he could most likely end up lashing out and I didn't want our last moments together to be ones that we would regret. So, I just stood there, waiting for him to speak or yell or walk out. I honestly didn't know which one he would do. What would I do if the roles were reversed? I'd like to think that I would be happy for him, but I knew that I would also be a little upset that he would leave me behind so easily. We at Blackthorne get abandoned by everyone in the outside world. All we have is each other. And Zach didn't want to lose that, I knew. Neither did Jonas.

"You love her, I know," Zach said softly. "I see that look in your eyes when you talk about her and….I feel the same way about Cammie, so I know. And I know that I can't say anything about you running away, because I know that I would run away with Cammie."

I waited, knowing that he wasn't finished.

I was right. "I'm glad that you're getting what you want, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't make me a little angry, too. I mean, you just…..it was a split-second decision and that makes me think that you're not really ready for this. I mean, I know that you're ready to run and hide forever because we take classes on that kind of shit, but I just don't know…."

"Thanks for the concern," I said sincerely.

He turned to face me, a small smile on his face. "I sound like a chick, huh?"

"A little," I admitted.

He sighed. "Cammie's getting to me."

I smiled back. "Drop by anytime, okay?"

"Yeah," he said. "Maybe I'll have a job in the area."

"Maybe."

He raised an eyebrow. "You sure you're not gonna miss this? You're a good assassin, Grant, one of the best ever."

I shook my head. "I just can't do this anymore."

Zach nodded. "I know what you mean."

And he did. Zach knew what it was like to be good at something that you weren't really sure was right. He knew the guilty feelings and the numbness. Zach knew just as well as I did.

"Don't let Jonas hurt himself with a package of gum again," I said.

Zach exhaled a half-laugh. "I'll try."

"And rock Languages," I said. "Stop using an Arabic accent for your Farsi."

He laughed. "I'll try."

"No," I said, mimicking Dr. Steve. "You'll succeed!"

We both laughed and Zach gestured to the envelope as he said, "I'm gonna miss having you around."

I let my mouth fall open in fake shock. "Did Zach Goode just admit that he'll miss me?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Tell anyone and I'll kill you."

"There's the Zach I know," I said with a laugh. Then, I got serious. "We gonna be okay?"

He nodded. "Brothers."

"Brothers."

He held out his hand and I shook it. "I'm gonna miss this place," I said, looking quickly around our bedroom. "The workouts, the classes…."

Zach picked it up. "The late night drills, the deadly lasagna, the annoying eighth graders…."

We both laughed and I said, "Okay, so maybe I won't miss it all that much."

He nodded. "I understand."

"Drop by," I said again. "Anytime."

He nodded. "I'll tail you."

"I'll spot you."

He laughed. "Sure you will."

Jonas came back into the room. "You better get going, Grant."

Everyone turned solemn. I walked over to Jonas and clapped his shoulder. "Thanks for everything, bro. I owe you so much. I never would have been able to get all of this together on such short notice. Actually, I probably wouldn't have been able to do _any_ of this without you."

A small smile played on his lips. "I know."

Zach laughed and I reached out and punched Jonas shoulder. "Don't go getting cocky. Maybe you should stay away from Zach as much as possible."

Jonas shrugged and then suddenly he was hugging me. He pulled away quickly, looking embarrassed. "Sorry. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Jonas," I said, throwing my bag over my shoulder, tucking the envelope safely inside.

"Good luck," Jonas said.

I was at the door when Zach said, "Good luck," in perfect Farsi, no Arabic accent. I turned and he gave me a smirk. "How was that?"

"Perfect," I said, and walked away, not looking back.

Did I mention I'm no longer an assassin?


	23. Chapter 23

23.

"What's wrong?" Katie asked as she ran her fingertips lightly over my bare chest. The soft candlelight made her skin glow and her green eyes danced actively, awakening so many emotions within me that I struggled to sort through them all. I felt happier than I'd ever been in my life because the girl of my dreams had run away with me, we were married, and we were going to Italy the next day. Perfect, right? But I felt guilty for keeping the secret from her. Even if I wasn't exactly an assassin anymore, I knew that I'd always technically be one. I'd always be capable of killing someone with my bare hands and able to shoot a moving target with a gun. I'd always be able to speak multiple languages and know things that normal people wouldn't know. I'd always be subconsciously looking over my shoulder, waiting for a ghost from my past to find me and destroy my new life.

Why couldn't it be easy? Why couldn't two people in love just run away and never have to think about their past ever again? Why did it have to be so difficult?

_Because you're not a normal person._

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot (sarcasm). I'll _never_ be able to forget the things that I've done. Some part of me will always hold onto the memories of the faces and the eyes that I've watched the lives drain out of. I'll always remember their names and see their faces haunting me in nightmares. But, there was nothing that I'd ever be able to do about that. Or was there? No, there wasn't. It's just part of being an assassin and I hated it. Sure, it had taken me a long time to see the light but once I had, I realized that I hated myself for what I was. _Am?_ No, definitely was. I never wanted to be that person again. I never wanted to have to be a pawn in someone's sick game or kill someone with a paper clip. No, no way. No more. Ever. I'm done.

But are you ever truly done? I knew that people were probably already looking for me. People wanted me back, people wanted me punished. But, I was ready. Jonas' fake IDs were perfect and Katie and I were well hidden. No one – save for Zach and Jonas – knew about her anyway. No one would expect me to be with a girl.

My wife.

"Is it something I did?" Katie asked worriedly.

"No," I hurried to say. "No, sorry. I just…"

"Zoned out," she supplied with a knowing smile.

I smiled back at her. "You know me too well."

Katie was _so_ smart. She had gotten scholarship offers from the top Ivy League schools and if that didn't work out, she definitely had a future in cheerleading. So why had she thrown it all away for me? She had a family back home in that small little town that loved her. She had friends and a future. But she had chosen me.

"Is there such a thing?" she asked with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes. "So, are you excited about Italy?" She'd told me that she'd always wanted to go to Italy. And I wanted to make her happy. I would be happy, too, of course, without my job as an assassin. I could finally be a decent person. I could start over; be a new person.

"I'm more excited about this," she said as she snuggled closer to me, her skin warm on mine and her breath fanning over my neck. She smelled as delicious as always – a little bit like vanilla – and her hair was soft and smooth. Her green eyes were as bright as always, maybe even brighter than normal.

"Me too," I said as I tightened my grip on her. And I was. I was so excited to get to have the chance to make this wonderful girl happy. I was thrilled that she wanted to be mine. I was ecstatic that I would get to sleep next to her each and every night and wake up to her each and every morning. I was just happy. Actually, happy is a major understatement.

She kissed my neck and whispered, "I love you."

I felt guilt wash over me like a tidal wave, trying to pull me under. Why? She had said that she loved me before and I had never had that kind of reaction. I struggled to breathe for a moment and I could finally get out, "I love you, too."

_But I don't deserve you._

It was true; both of those things were true. I loved her, more than anything else in the world. I would do anything for her, anything at all. But, I also knew that I didn't deserve her. She was wonderful and perfect in every possible way. She didn't have to lie and keep secrets. She was innocent. She didn't know any languages other than English (except for what she learned in Spanish class in high school) and she didn't know how to tail someone without getting caught. She wasn't a black belt in any kind of martial arts and she didn't know how to hack into the NSA's computers in twenty minutes (technically, it takes me thirty, but Jonas can do it in ten). She'd never been paid to kill someone and she probably didn't even know how to hold a gun properly, much less actually _shoot_ one. I could never see her aiming a gun at someone with the intent of killing them.

"How much?" she asked in a soft voice, only half teasing.

"Too much to describe."

_But not enough to tell you my secret._

Did I mention I am/was an assassin?


	24. Chapter 24

24.

I walked into the house that Katie and I shared. It was simple, yet well decorated. Jonas had done an exquisite job. I had a career at a winery and Katie was enrolled in college classes. Our life was simple and perfect, just what I wanted it to be.

"Hey." Katie's face lit up when she saw me, just like it always did.

I couldn't hold back a smile even if I had wanted to. "Hey." I kissed her and said, "How was class?"

She made a face. "I have to write an essay."

"Fun."

She rolled her eyes. "Always. How was work?"

"In a word," I said, "redundant."

She laughed. "Salad for dinner. That's okay, right?"

"Sure. Caesar salad?" I asked with a knowing smile.

"It's nothing like Ray's," she sighed, "but it'll just have to do."

I moved up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist as I pressed my lips to her warm neck. She shivered slightly but leaned back into me just the same. She smelled like vanilla, as always. Her hair was soft against the side of my face and it tickled my skin. I pulled away and kissed her temple. "When will supper be ready?"

"Give me ten minutes," she said. "Although, it'll be even longer if you keep doing that."

I stopped rubbing her back. "You want me to stop?"

"No," she said quickly. "I was just saying that supper's going to take longer if you do that. I was just answering your question."

I turned her around to kiss me. When I pulled away, I said, "I'm gonna change out of this suit."

She shrugged and turned back to slicing chicken. "Okay."

I moved for the stairs and was halfway up when I felt overcome with…what? There was this nagging in the back of my mind, but I couldn't figure out what was bugging me. I rubbed the back of my neck as I reached the top of the stairs. Had I forgotten to do something? No, I had taken out the trash like I always did every Thursday morning. Was it a special day? No; it wasn't Katie's birthday or our anniversary or anything. What could I possibly be forgetting?

I opened the door to our bedroom and stepped inside, not bothering to close the door behind me. I took off my jacket and threw it onto the bed as I loosened my tie. Knowing that Katie got slightly annoyed when I didn't hang up my clothes, I headed for the closet to get a hanger.

That's when I noticed that something was off. There were footprints on the freshly vacuumed carpet.

_You're just being paranoid_. _Those are probably Katie's footprints_.

But they weren't. Katie's feet weren't even close to that big; I would know. And they weren't mine. I hung my jacket up and slipped out of my slacks, trading them out with comfortable basketball shorts. Not knowing what could be waiting ahead, I also put on socks and Nikes, along with a T-shirt. They were good fighting clothes and if Katie asked, I could just tell her that I was planning to go work out.

How long had it been since I'd been in actual combat?

I thought back. _Five months_.

That's a long time. I hoped that I was just being paranoid and nothing would be wrong. What _could_ be wrong? I wasn't even Grant anymore, technically. How could anyone have found me?

I went to the bathroom to wash my face, knowing that I needed the water to refresh me. After I washed my face, I still had that feeling. My training told me to listen, but I made myself ignore it. _I'm through with that life_. There was nothing wrong.

_Yes there is!_

And then Katie screamed.

"Katie!" I ran out the bathroom door and towards the stairs. Katie screamed again and as I reached the foot of the stairs, a man lunged at me. I barely had time to register his black attire before I snapped his neck and headed for the kitchen. Katie was trying to fight a man that had grabbed her around the waist. He was at least twice her size. Three other men in the room came at me when I barged in.

I killed them all, not even registering how I had done it. The last to die was the man who had Katie. He put up a good fight, using Vietnamese martial arts. He was no match for me. I broke his neck. He laid cold and dead on the floor and Katie stood frozen five feet away. I knew that the whole event was traumatic and I knew that her brain wasn't processing at normal speed. It was trying to piece all of the events together.

I left her alone. I took the bodies outside and managed to drag them to a river without drawing attention to myself. They would wash away and I would never have to look at them again. When I got back, Katie was standing right where I'd left her. To give her more time, I swept up the lettuce, tomatoes, and chicken on the floor.

"How did you do that?" she finally asked. Her voice was shaky.

"I know marital arts." Not a lie.

"I can see that, but you…you snapped their necks."

"They would have snapped yours if I hadn't."

She drew in a shaky breath. "Who are you, Grant? Who were those people?"

I answered honestly, "I don't know." I had looked closely at them all before dumping them in the river, but I hadn't recognized one of them. I had no idea who they were working for or why they wanted me.

"What's going on?"

Katie sounded vulnerable and scared. As the husband, I was supposed to protect her. And I had. But now, she needed me to protect her in a totally different way. So, I took a deep breath and looked at her. I studied her angelic face and remembered every single intimate touch. And then I said,

"Did I mention I'm an assassin?"


	25. Chapter 25

Epilogue

Katie had a lot of questions, as you can probably imagine. To her credit, though, she did listen patiently and she didn't run away screaming as I had assumed that she would. We sat at our small kitchen table as night rolled around and I told her everything. EVERYTHING. I told her the truth about my dad and about Blackthorne. I told her the truth about me. I told her about killing people and about sending her tumbling coach away so that he could live and be free. I told her that she changed so much about me, but there was no way that she could change certain things. I told her that I understood if she hated me for lying to her and for what I had done to people. I told her that I hated myself for it. I told her that I loved her; that had never been a lie.

"I love you," I had whispered to her, looking up into her gorgeous green eyes and seeing the bright tears there. "And that's why I'm letting you leave me."

"I can't believe you," she had replied softly, holding my gaze.

It hurt me, just like a knife to the heart. She couldn't believe that I was a monster. She couldn't believe that I had the audacity to run away with her and still lie to her. She couldn't believe me. I looked down at the table. "I know," I had whispered, feeling tears in my own eyes.

"No, you don't," she replied, standing and grabbing my hand. She pulled me up to our bedroom and we made love like we never had before. Without the barrier of secrets, it was totally different, totally carefree. It was new and exciting and so filled with love that I climaxed several times, as did Katie. It was absolutely perfect.

When I held her after, she whispered, "I would never leave you."

I kissed her forehead, amazed at my good fortune. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

We continued our lives. Katie and I had had a long conversation and it was finally decided that I could go back to being an assassin. It was hard on missions because I was thinking about getting home to my wife all of the time, but I managed. It was so much better now that Katie knew and accepted my long-kept secret.

We moved back to the US and acquired a nice two-story house in Michigan. Katie knew that she could never ask about my missions, but I knew that she was always there for me if I chose to talk about it.

After much discussion, Katie and I decided to have children – with the understanding that we would have to choose whether or not to send them to Blackthorne. Our first child was a son, Jacob Isaac. He grew up to look exactly like me, but with Katie's bright green eyes and gentle spirit – the best of both worlds.

Our next child was a daughter, Allison Jane. She grew up to look exactly like Katie, but with my determined fire. Katie enrolled her in gymnastics and she excelled.

Our children would later go to Gallagher and Blackthorne. They would grow up to be legacies, the best of their kind. And I was happy to be able to watch them grow.

And every night, when I come home from a mission and Katie and I make love together, I hold her afterwards as we whisper to each other. And every time, I can't believe it's true. I can't believe how amazing my life turned out to be because I had revealed my secret. So, just to be sure it's real, I whisper, "Did I mention I'm an assassin?"

And she always smiles and says, "Yes."


End file.
